


Secrets

by Alverie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, Infidelity, M/M, Memory Loss, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:34:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alverie/pseuds/Alverie
Summary: He wishes that those words are a lie.It would hurt a lot less if he is lying about loving him.But he was genuine and sincere in his confession, even as his activities with other people prove otherwise.Even so, he couldn't stop loving Oikawa Tooru.But even if he had forgotten him, will those feelings remain?
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Kageyama Tobio & Miya Osamu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 137
Kudos: 252





	1. The End

_"Nnghh—Tooru—"_

He hugged the older closer to him as he finishes off with a grunt. The brunette was leaving a trail of kisses on his neck as he was panting to catch his breath.

"I love you, Tobio…"

His breathe hitches as he looked at the sincere look on the man. His eyes trailed to the bite mark at the side of his shoulder.

Bite mark that wasn't from him.

"I…"

It wouldn't be as painful if he wasn't lying.

"I love you too… Tooru,"

But he knows neither of their words is a lie.

* * *

**> Sorry baby, I have to finish this assignment today so I'll be back late o(´д** **｀** **o)**

It wasn't the first time.

**< It's okay. I'll keep the food in the freezer :)**

He shouldn't feel hurt anymore.

 **> I'm sorryyy (>.<)  
>I love you Tobiooo (•‾** **⌣** **‾•)و ̑̑** **♡**

He closes his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to erase the image of Oikawa with his assignment's partner. He had seen her a few times when he visited Oikawa's college and there's no denying the attraction she felt for Oikawa as well as the lack-lustre way of Oikawa trying to deny her advance in Kageyama's presence.

But now…

**< I love you too Tooru**

He slumped his body on the couch as he looked at the cold dinner.

That's another wasted food.

* * *

"Why aren't you breaking up with him?"

Kageyama pretended he didn't hear Hinata's question as he continues slurping on his milkshake but his friend was having none of it as he took the drink away from him. Kageyama tried to glare at him but he can feel fatigued overcoming him as he just looks at Hinata impassively.

Hinata's face turn soft, "See? You're not even trying to fight anymore. He's ruining you, Kageyama,"

He knows that Hinata is speaking the truth.

Hinata, Yamaguchi, Yachi and even Tsukishima have talked to him many times about the same topic over and over again.

But despite knowing how much truth the words his friends held…

"I love him,"

Hinata sighs and looks at him in pity. He wanted to scream at him to stop looking at him like that because he's fine, to stop caring so much about him because clearly, not even his own boyfriend cared enough about him. And yet, he let Hinata took his trembling hand in his as he whimpers with unshed tears.

* * *

"Tobio-chan, you're hanging out with that shrimpy again yesterday, didn't you?"

He didn't look up from the magazine he was reading at the accusatory tone directed at him, "Yes, we have lunch as per usual,"

Oikawa grumbles as he sat next to him and hug his waist from behind. Every touch from the man never fails to make his heart flutters, even to this day.

"I'm telling you; he has feelings for you. What should I do if my boyfriend was taken away by that shrimpy~?"

His hand pauses from turning the next page as he leans his body to the man next to him and smiles where he knows that it won't be seen,

"Don't worry, Tooru. My heart will always be with you,"

He wishes that it was a lie.

* * *

"You're an idiot,"

He hummed in response as Kunimi sighs in exasperation, "You can be irritating at times but I wouldn't wish this upon anyone,"

He grumbles as he hugged the shark plushie tighter to his chest, "I choose this,"

The foot lightly kicks him but he paid no mind to it, "And you can choose not to. But you didn't,"

"…I don't know what else to choose,"

He can feel another body sitting on the bed next to him. He looked at Kindaichi who's looking at him with pity in his eyes, similar to Hinata.

"I think you know your own choice, Kageyama,"

He stays quiet and slowly closes his eyes, "…I'm sleepy,"

Kunimi grumbles and sat on the bed as well, crowding the single bed and yet it comforted him, "Didn't you sleep last night? It's the weekend,"

"I can't," His nose scrunches as he remembers the smell of foreign perfume inside their home, "I hate the smell,"

* * *

Even in university, Kageyama still wasn't an exemplary student. And yet, it was the one day he tried hard to finishes his work and even the professors are impressed and praises him.

He shouldn't have tried so hard after all, as he heard the moans of his boyfriend woven with the moan of a stranger.

He should turn back now, went to the konbini for an hour and then went back home and pretended that nothing is amiss as he usually does.

So why are his feet moving forward?

His heart is screaming at him to stop, to keep on the false façade for a little while longer but he doesn't know what he is following now. His heart? His brain?

All he knows that despite him knowing what lies beyond that door, his lips quiver as the tears drops when blue meets a shocked and scared pair of brown eyes.

"Tobio—"

He had known for a few months now yet why…

Why does it hurt so much?

"Tobio wait—!"

He didn't hear the sound of the door opening.

Before he knew it, he was knocking on Yachi's door, her and Yamaguchi's place being the closest.

"Huh? Kageyama-kun?"

"Ya—" He couldn't speak.

"I—" It feels like something is stuck in his throat.

"Kageyama? Oh—come on in,"

He wonders why Yachi and Yamaguchi are looking at him like that? And why is it so hard for him to see? He wouldn't need glasses like Tsukishima now, right?

Yamaguchi is dragging him inside as Yachi is wiping on his face with her soft handkerchief.

Oh, he still hasn't stopped crying.

As if a dam has been broken, all the frustration and loneliness he suppresses for the past months finally came out as he cried for what feels like forever as Yachi and Yamaguchi hugs him. He didn't know when he falls asleep but when he woke up, he was lying in the living room with Yachi and Yamaguchi as well as Hinata and Tsukishima who must have arrived last night even as he didn't realize it. Another thing he notices is that his eyes feel sore and his chest feels lighter.

He turns on his phone to look at the clock and a weird feeling settle on his chest as he looks at the multiple missed calls and messages.

"Mmm… Morning, Kageyama-kun. Let me make breakfast…"

"Ah, I'll help you,"

He did just suddenly crash into their home without warning and troubled them with his problem the whole night. The least he can do is help her.

"Thanks, Kageyama-kun. The others slept super late last night so let's let them sleep for a little longer,"

He blinks at her, "What are they doing staying up so late?"

Yachi looks away, her face suddenly stricken with guilt, "Just talking bad… about a certain someone,"

Ah, "Oh…"

They didn't say anything else after that, only the sound of their working hand as they prepare a simple breakfast. It feels like a long time since he made a proper breakfast. With only himself eating breakfast back in his hom—house, he kind of miss preparing a full breakfast with rice and side dishes.

"Oh~ That looks good,"

"Ah, hey!" Hinata avoided his hand as he cackles away with the side dish in his mouth. He grumbles as he took the food to the dining room, "Wait until we set up the table, dumbass,"

Hinata looks at him with a happy smile on his face, "Haven't heard you use that name in a long time,"

Really?

Isn't that what he usually calls him though?

"Wow, so fancy for a mere breakfast,"

Tsukishima's wild hair causes him to snickers a bit though he quickly looks away when Tsukishima turns to glare at him.

Missing the small smile that appears on the blonde's face.

"Well, it's been a long time since we had breakfast together. Thanks for the food, Hitoka-chan and Kageyama!"

"Uhmm, yeah, shanks fo de food,"

He looked at Hinata who's stuffing his face in disgust and lightly knock on his head, "Manners, idiot!"

Hinata took a big gulp and pointed his chopsticks accusingly at Kageyama, "Since when did you become such manner police? We used to pig down the food together!"

"You guys do inhale the food as if you're starved for one week often,"

His hand clenches on the bowl, "Well, ever since…"

_"The way you're eating is so messy, Tobio-chan,"_

It grew quiet all around him as he took a deep breath and exhale loudly. Picking on the chopsticks, he picks up the side dish and began scarfing down the food, finishing the whole rice in the bowl in a few minutes and he gulps down the tea Yachi made. He would have been scolded by now for his messy eating manner but he doesn't care anymore.

He took another serving of rice.

"I'm breaking up with him,"

No one on the table needed to know what happen last night, they could guess. They only smile with encouragement as Tsukishima sighs, his hand trying to hide the smile on his face as he ate the food and swallows.

"Good for you, King,"

He smiles.

It feels like forever since he smiles happily.

"Hinata,"

Hinata gulp down the drink before he answers, "Yeah?"

"That offer—is it still open?"

Hinata look at him in surprise before a grin broke out on his face, "For you, it's always open,"

* * *

**> He came to my house**

**< What did you do?**

**> Throw water at him  
>Duh**

"Hell yeah, Tsukishima!"

Kageyama pushes Hinata's face away from looking at his phone and types out his reply.

**< Sorry you have to deal with him**

**> You should be**

He groans although a small smile tugs on his lip.

**< Asshole**

**>** **♡**

"Oh, we're taking off. Turn off your phone, Kageyama-kun,"

He grumbles, "Yeah, yeah, I know,"

Before he turns off his phone, he notices a new message coming from an unsaved number and yet he recognizes the number. Hesitating for a moment, he clicks on the notification and he doesn't know whether he regretted opening up the message or not.

**> I'm sorry Tobio  
>I hope you'll find happiness wherever you are**

He turns off his phone and closes his eyes.

He can feel the plane taking off and his body slowly overcoming with sleep.

He wishes that Oikawa lies a lot more.

He wishes that the one he used to love would stop looking at him with such adoration in his eyes.

And he wishes that he was telling the truth when he said 'the one that he used to love'.

* * *

"Why do you want to see him again?"

Oikawa stopped looking at the camellia and turn to Iwaizumi, "Because I fuck up, of course,"

Iwaizumi sighs, "That's why, do you think he would want to see you again?"

"Because…" He picks up an orchid and smiles sadly, "Because I'm a selfish jerk who still loves him,"

Iwaizumi stays quiet as Oikawa paid for the bouquet. He knows that his childhood friend is a great liar and yet he knows that when it comes to his feelings for Kageyama Tobio, he's always honest.

Which is why even now he could never understand why he did what he did.

"How did you even know when his flight arrives?"

"I have my way,"

Iwaizumi scowls as Oikawa only grins in response.

The airport is as crowded as always and he finds himself straining to look for his blue-eyed lover.

Ex-lover.

But he didn't have to take long. His eyes easily found the boy among the crowds despite the majority of black and brown hair and a smile naturally appear on his face as he lightly jogs to the younger man who seems to be looking around for something. He pushes through the crowd until he finally comes face to face with Kageyama who looks at him with wide eyes and questioning look. He smiles. The boy doesn't seem to change even after two years have passed.

"Tobio…"

Kageyama blinks before a nervous look appears on his face and he smiled politely.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, 'crowded airport', what's that?
> 
> So, yayy another OiKage angst ( ᐛ )و  
> Idk where I'm going with this. I mean, I have a rough idea of the future plot (involving AtsuKage too because it's me we're talking about here) but I just want to get this idea out and I'm still not sure whether this should be a full on multi-chapter or not.  
> We'll see ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Ah, I miss writing angst OiKage so let's--  
> Brain: Make it AtsuOiKage angst  
> Me: You're god damn right

“My name is Kageyama Tobio, I was born on December 22nd 1994, I have a sister named Miwa and my parents—”

* * *

“There doesn’t seem to be any major problem with his memory,”

The others sigh in relief though Tsukishima speaks up, “I’m sorry, ‘major problems’?”

The doctor nodded, “There seems to be a few gaps where he couldn’t remember but overall, he is able to recount well until this year so there’s nothing to worry about. His physical condition is also quite good with no permanent or long-lasting injury so give him around two months and he’ll be back to normal,”

They smile in relief once again, “That’s the monster for you. Looks like there’s nothing to worry about after all,”

“Just in case, please monitor him closely and noted if there’s anything different regarding his memories. Call me if there are any other problems,”

Hinata nods happily, “We will! Thank you very much, doctor!”

The doctor smiles kindly as they went inside the room. Kageyama is lying on the bed with his head bandaged up and his right foot in a cast and yet he seems content as he sips on his milk and watches the television that’s playing a volleyball match. He notices them and waves at them nonchalantly, causing the others to groan.

“Man, we worried a lot about you and here you are enjoying the hospital first-class room!”

Kageyama nods, “Their food is amazing,”

Tsukishima groans as he took a seat next to Kageyama’s bed, “We came all the way here to Italy and all we have visited so far is the hospital. You better pay for my flight ticket, King,”

Kageyama seems to think a little before he looks at Tsukihima straight in the eyes, “No,”

“Okay listen here you piece of—”

“O—kay, let’s calm down now and not cause more injury to a patient,” Yamaguchi pat Tsukishima reassuringly with a grin before he turns to Kageyama, “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a car,”

Yamaguchi sighs although a year of being the captain has taught him the patient of a saint, “Well, that is literally what happens to you. Do you think there’s anything different?”

Kageyama jutted out his lip in concentration before he shook his head, “No, not really,”

“Kageyama-kun, Kageyama-kun, who am I?” Hinata pointed excitedly at himself as Kageyama stares blankly at him.

“I have never seen this man ever in my life,”

“Eh!?”

The others laughed at Hinata’s incredulous look and Kageyama broke into a grin.

“Security, come here~ We have a pervert sneaking into the room~”

“Tsukishimaaa you bastard!”

Kageyama bursts out laughing as Hinata tried to grab at Tsukishima’s head while Yachi holds his hand, “I’m glad to see that you’re okay, Kageyama-kun. Seriously, don’t scare us like that!”

“Ah, sorry…”

Tsukishima finally pushes Hinata off of him, “Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with his head anyway, not that we can differentiate anyway,”

“Shut up you lanky beanpole!”

Hinata laughs loudly and pointed at Tsukishima, “Ah, he remembers your real name. That means everything’s fine after all!”

“Shut up, human tangerine,”

Kageyama grins as their laughter fill the room though he feels a little guilty for keeping quiet about his headaches coming from the wound on his head.

Well, it’s just a little headache anyway.

Yeah, there’s nothing wrong after all.

* * *

He looks around the crowded airport.

Yep, he can still remember Japan after all.

He frowns as he reread the instruction on the paper and slip it inside his pocket, looking around for the person who was supposed to be waiting for him.

‘Now where’s—’

“Tobio…”

He looked up in surprise as a handsome brown-haired man who’s holding a bouquet is looking at him with a beautiful smile on his face.

Ah—

This is—

…Who?

His mind blanks as he suddenly grew nervous at the thought of being mistaken by a stranger. Mustering up a polite smile, he asks the stranger,

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

As the man’s face contorted to despair, he couldn’t help but feeling guilt creeps up into his heart while his scar throbbed after a year of the pain disappearing.

* * *

What?

Is Tobio—

Is he playing with him?

“Oi, that isn’t funny, Tobio-chan…”

Yet the man in front of him continue to look at him strangely with a nervous look on his face, “Er, do you perhaps mistake me for—”

He let go of the bouquet as he gripped Tobio’s shoulder tightly, “There’s no other Tobio but you!”

Kageyama’s face turns into fear as he tried to pry the hand on his shoulders away, “Hey—!”

“Excuse me~”

Tobio easily slipped out of his grip as he was dragged back by another person who’s grinning as he pushes Kageyama behind him, “Seriously, you just attract trouble wherever you go, huh, Tobio-kun?”

Tooru glared at the person in front of him who is giving Tobio a foxy grin while Tobio’s eyes widen in recognition and a small smile broke out on his face, “Atsumu-san!”

Tobio-kun?

Atsumu?

First-name basis?

Hell, not even Hinata Shouyou have received the first-name privilege from Kageyama as far as he knows.

“Excuse me, who are you?” He couldn’t help the venom dripping from his voice as the stranger’s attention return to him while Oikawa could see his hand discreetly trying to push Kageyama far from him. His scowls deepen though he masks it with his usual polite, charming smile.

But the smile doesn’t seem to work as the man cold eyes met his.

“Eh, we shouldn’t tell stranger our names, right? That’s one of the first thing mom told us not to do,”

Kageyama still seems confused even though both Oikawa and the fake blonde seems to already have a rough idea regarding the others and the situation they’re in.

But right now, he has to ignore the bastard in front of him.

The only thing that’s important is Kageyama.

“I don’t know what you’re playing but Tobio-chan, to forget your favourite senpai, that’s a bit cruel, no?”

Kageyama frowns as he furrows his eyebrows, “There’s no way I could forget Sugawara-san,”

Ah, this irritatingly honest brat.

Even the still unknown bastard (Atsumu; what an annoying name) in front of him look at Kageyama in shock, “Tobio-kun, I thought that I am your favourite senpai,”

“We don’t go to the same school, Atsumu-san,”

Atsumu whines as he looked at Kageyama with a pout, “But still…”

He cleared his throat before the two of them could go off to their own conversation. So, this person isn’t Kageyama’s upperclassman from school, which is why he had never seen him before. So how did Kageyama knows someone like this?

No matter.

“Tobio, I’ve waited 2 years for you to come back. I don’t know why are you trying to pretend you don’t know me but I know I deserve it especially after what happened last time we met. So, I…” he retrieved the almost forgotten dropped bouquet and hands it to Kageyama who’s looking at it nervously with slight suspicion, “I just… want to see you again,”

“I…” Kageyama scrunches his face as if he’s thinking too hard as his hand seems unsure whether to accept the bouquet or not. As he was about to take the bouquet, Kageyama was pulled away by Atsumu who tried to look apologetic.

Tried.

“Sorry, Mr Stranger. Our ride is here so we will be going now!”

“Wait—”

But Atsumu immediately uses the crowd to get Kageyama and him away from Oikawa who could only look at their retreating back in surprise. He clenches the bouquet tightly to his chest as he recalls the genuine confusion on Kageyama’s face. There’s no shred of lying in his word; Kageyama truly doesn’t know him.

Kageyama doesn’t remember all those times they spent together as lovers.

“Tobio…”

But this also means that he didn’t remember the painful breakup and heartbreak Kageyama got.

Right?

* * *

Despite the guy being suspicious, Atsumu doesn’t think that he looks that dangerous. And whatever happens, Atsumu is here to save Kageyama from any trouble that he may face.

Kid’s such a problem magnet.

Discreetly, he took a photo of the guy who seems to be trying to sweet-talk his way with Kageyama. For being someone who claims to know Kageyama, he doesn’t seem to know how dense the kid can be.

**< Yo, Shouyou-kun. Know this guy?**

Hinata’s messages are always so cheerful and lengthy, his personality perfectly reflected on his text message. Which is why the curt and seemingly cold message alarmed him.

**> Get Kageyama away from him**

And Atsumu acted fast, immediately putting his arm around Kageyama’s shoulder to pull him away from the guy and grinned up at the handsome stranger to try to look apologetic.

A handsome but apparently dangerous stranger to Kageyama.

“Sorry, Mr Stranger. Our ride is here so we will be going now!”

Osamu had just finished packing the onigiris for Kageyama so there’s no way he could have arrived this fast but he needed to get Kageyama out here if what Hinata tells him is true. Maybe a stalker? How else would he know Kageyama’s arrival time?

“Atsumu-san, is there something wrong?”

Kageyama is looking at him innocently as they walked away far enough from the stranger. Kageyama looks genuinely confused by the events that are happening that Atsumu feels bad for him. He tried to smile reassuringly at the younger man.

“Em, nothing. It’s just you don’t know that guy, right? Kind of creepy don’t you think with him waiting for you and giving you flowers like that?”

Kageyama frowns and his lips naturally jutted out with his adorable pout, “I guess… But how did he know me then?”

Atsumu hesitates and he was tempted to present Kageyama with his stalker theory but he only shrugs. No need to make Kageyama more scared and disturbed than he is now, “Who knows but… this is because you’re adorable, Tobio-kun. I told you to tone down the cuteness already!”

“E—eh?” Kageyama’s face turns red and Atsumu’s smile grew wider.

“See! You’re doing it again. Man, you’re hopeless, Tobio-kun,”

Kageyama’s brow furrow in what he knows now as ‘anger to hide his embarrassment and he punch Atsumu’s shoulder, “Stop joking around, Atsumu-san! I—I’m not cute!”

Atsumu fake a sigh as he cupped Kageyama’s cheeks in his hands, “And there he goes lying again. How can you call yourself not cute when your cheeks are squishy like this?”

He began to lightly pinch Kageyama’s cheeks as Kageyama tried to pry his hands off with an embarrassed look on his face, “Shtop itt,”

Someone’s coughing from behind them stops their antics as he looks at Osamu’s unamused look as he crosses his arm, “I did not come all the way here with food just two see two idiots flirting around at the airport,”

Now it’s Atsumu’s turn to grew red while Kageyama looks at Osamu excitedly.

“Osamu-san! You brought food?”

Osamu grins as they follow him to the car, “Of course! I tried some new recipe so I was hoping you could try them out for me, Tobio-kun,”

Atsumu never thought Kageyama could look even happier as he practically sparkles and seems to try to control his urge to hug Osamu, “Osamu-san, you’re the perfect man,”

Atsumu splutters while Osamu only laughs as he ruffles Kageyama’s head affectionately, directing them to the car and Kageyama looks like he receives the answer to the world as he was given the box of onigiris.

“Osamu-san, I owe my life to you,”

“…Aren’t you being too overdramatic, Tobio-kun,”

“No, no, Tobio-kun is right. Onigiris are serious business,”

Atsumu sighs at the serious look both his brother and his friend had. The both of them, with Akaashi from Fukurodani together make it seems like onigiris are the salvation of the world.

Oh well, at least he got to see Kageyama happily munching on the onigiris with his stuffed cheeks. He smiles fondly at the sight.

“Slow down there, Tobio-kun. I know you miss Japan’s food but wouldn’t want you to choke now,”

Kageyama nods but doesn’t seem to heed him as he continues munching on the onigiri with great speed and enthusiasm. In just a few minutes, the whole box is empty and Kageyama’s eyes turn droopy as he suddenly dropped his head on Atsumu’s shoulder without warning, causing him to be flustered as he looked at Tobio’s tired form.

“I’m sleepy… and my head hurts so… night…”

Atsumu chuckles as soft snores come out of Kageyama in a few seconds. He could see Osamu grinning at him from the front mirror and he gives his younger twin brother an affectionate middle finger.

Kageyama remains sleeping even as Atsumu carries him to his and Osamu’s home carefully as to not wake up the younger man. He left Kageyama sleeping peacefully on his bed as he went to take a shower.

* * *

“Tobio-kun? I brought some extra blankets—”

Atsumu froze upon looking at Kageyama’s sleeping form before he smiles fondly as the boy seems to be hugging his fox plushie tightly to his chest. Atsumu remembers Kageyama gifting him the plushie because it apparently resembles him but honestly, he didn’t see it. He moves closer to the younger one and covers him with a blanket, lightly ruffling his hair in the process.

“You’ll catch a cold, you idiot…”

Ah, he must be hanging out too much with Kita to be so sappy and considerate like this.

There’s a little drool coming out of his mouth and Atsumu wipes it off with his sleeve. The jet lag must be getting to him for Kageyama to be so dead to the world. Plus, after the encounter with the strange man who seems to be fascinated with Kageyama just now…

He whipped out his phone and pull out his chat with Hinata and wrote down a new message.

**< Hey, about that guy just now…  
<Is he a stalker or something? Tobio-kun doesn’t seem to know him**

He waited for a while as it shows Hinata typing several times before he receives a call directly from Hinata. A bit flabbergasted, he accepted the call and was bombarded by questions before he could say his greeting.

“What do you mean Kageyama doesn’t know him? What exactly happens?”

Okay, Hinata could be blunt but this is alarming, “Um, exactly what I said? Tobio-kun says he doesn’t know that guy and we all know that he is not exactly the best liar in the world,”

“I—” Hinata seems to be at a loss of words and Atsumu knows that this means the situation is really bad. The guy who seems to have limitless stamina and limitless words to say being quiet is a tell-tale sign that something is wrong.

“The doctor did say that that there is no major problem with his memories and he seems fine this past year but—”

“Is this about that accident?”

A year ago, they were alarmed by the news that Kageyama was involved in an accident but they were then informed that it wasn’t so bad and Kageyama recovered almost completely after 3 months. Atsumu was glad that Kageyama is okay but he remembers video calling Kageyama for 5 hours straight with 2 of those 5 hours berating him to cause them such scares.

So, he hasn’t completely recovered after all.

“But he seems so fine before He remembers everything and even though he’s dumber than me, we know that his memorization skills are great so he can recall everything just fine and we never even talk about his ex after what happened—”

“Ex?”

Hinata growls a bit and Atsumu flinches slightly knowing how scary the shorter boy can be at times, “Yeah, ex. A really shitty one at that too,”

Man must have really fucked up to be at the end of Hinata Shouyou’s wrath.

Atsumu stays quiet and he carefully chooses the next words as to not aggravate the already pissed Hinata at the end of the line, “So… what do I tell Tobio?”

“Nothing,”

“Huh?”

“Kageyama wants nothing to do with him before he left for Italy so he wouldn’t want anything to do with him now,” The line grew quiet again as Hinata’s voice grew softer, “Just… take care of him for me, Atsumu-san. Kageyama he—he is more fragile than he looks,”

Atsumu looks at the sleeping boy beside him and gently caresses his cheek with the back of his hand. He already knows that despite the cold and tough exterior Kageyama have, he is still a sensitive soul who would sulk when animals ignore him. Someone kind who attracted Atsumu to befriends him.

“Of course, Shouyou-kun. I’ll take care of him,”

“Thank you, Atsumu-san…” Hinata’s voice return to his usual cheerfulness and Atsumu internally sighs in relief, “I knew I could trust you! I mean, you can be pretty sleazy at times too but you’re not bad, I guess,”

Atsumu gasps dramatically, “You wounded my heart, Shouyou-kun! First Tobio-kun with him claiming I’m not his favourite senpai and now you!?”

Even without seeing him, Atsumu could imagine Hinata rolling his eyes at him now, “You’re not his senpai, Atsumu-san. And of course it’s going to be Suga-san; Kageyama is his favourite kouhai too which is so unfair!”

Atsumu laughs at the boy accusing tone and they talk lightly after that before they hang up the phone. Atsumu sighs as he looks at Kageyama who is cuddling with the fox plushie in his arm and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. He smiles before he stood up and turning off the light so that Kageyama could sleep peacefully.

“Samu, lend your big brother your bed tonight, please~?”

Osamu only looked at him in disgust and return his gaze to the cooking show, “Hell no. Take the couch or something. I’m not going to let your sweaty body ruin my bed,”

“I’m not sweaty!”

“Sure, and Kei-kun loves all of us,” Osamu’s face suddenly turns mischievous, “Why don’t you just sleep with Tobio-kun then? It’s your bed and I’m sure that he won’t mind,”

Atsumu’s face grew red as he slaps Osamu’s back with the pillow on the couch, “Samu you pervert! I won’t take advantage of Tobio-kun like that!”

Osamu only shrugs, not affected by the hit, “Why not? You never seem to care much about boundaries during your dating spree,”

“Well, Tobio-kun is… different…” Atsumu’s voice grew quiet as he hides his face behind the pillow and laid his head on Osamu’s shoulder, “Shut up. Idiot. I’m going to sleep now. Good night!”

Osamu chuckles as he saw the tip of his brother’s ears turning red. Holding the remote, he turns the volume down as Atsumu’s body grew slack and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assignments are kicking my ass and now writing and drawing is my therapy.  
> I once told my friend that out of all Haikyuu characters, I would marry Osamu because he's just the perfect domestic husband.
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	3. The Three of Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I be able to update fast like this again?  
> Only when I'm super pressured with assignments and need to write fanfics to cope lol.

“You’re going to go visit those friends of yours?”

Kageyama nodded as ate another spoonful of omelette rice, swallowing before he replies to Osamu’s question, “They’re going to help me look around for apartment today. Also, we haven’t seen each other for a long time,”

Osamu nods as he gave another serving for the eager Kageyama. Before he began eating, he looked around in confusion, “Where’s Atsumu-san? I feel kind of bad taking his room last night,”

As if hearing his name, a groan was heard behind the couch as Atsumu stood up and stretches, “Mor…ning…”

“Atsumu-san! It’s not good for your body to sleep on the couch. You should have just wake me up last night,”

Atsumu grins sleepily as he took a seat opposite Kageyama, “Nah, don’t worry about it. You look pretty tired last night anyway,”

Kageyama frowns, “It won’t be good for when you play volleyball,”

The twins laugh as Osamu took a seat next to his brother, “Volleyball is always in your mind, huh, Tobio-kun?”

“Of course,” Kageyama said it so seriously that the twins laugh again. Breakfast with the twins reminded him of the time he spent with the other first years before he left for Italy. Even when they didn’t meet with each other much, the few times they had a sleepover together was something that Kageyama cherishes. The last time the five of them have breakfast together was when Kageyama was upset due to…

Why was he upset again?

“Tobio-kun, are you sure you need to find a new apartment? You could always stay with us, you know?”

Atsumu’s questions snap him out of his stupor and he answers the older setter, “I wouldn’t want to impose you like last night. And I’ve finally gathered enough money to have a place to myself,”

Atsumu pouts as he slumps forward slightly, “Aww, that’s too bad. We wouldn’t mind you being here, right, ‘Samu?”

Osamu nodded as he finishes his plate, “We could always throw ‘Tsumu out,”

“Oi!”

Kageyama chuckles as Osamu smoothly avoid his twin’s punch, “Would you like to come along, Atsumu-san, Osamu-san? I’m sure Kindaichi and Kunimi won’t mind,”

Atsumu’s eyes sparkle as he looks at Kageyama in excitement, “Can we? Sure!”

“Ah, I’ll pass. Kita-san and Aran-kun will be visiting today so I have to do my best to impress them,”

“Kita-san and Aran-san are coming?” Kageyama looks excited as he helps Osamu with the dishes, “How long will they be staying?”

“Until evening if I’m not mistaken. I think you’ll get to meet them if you return afternoon,”

“Got it!” Kageyama is smiling with his usual wobbly grin that Osamu couldn’t help petting his head fondly.

“Ah, Osamu-san! Your hand is still wet!”

Osamu grins as he continues ruffling Kageyama’s hair with his wet hands, “It’s okay, isn’t it? You haven’t taken a bath anyway~”

Atsumu suddenly join in as well, hugging Kageyama from behind, making Kageyama completely vulnerable to Osamu’s wet hands, “Ah, no fair~ Don’t play with water without me!”

Osamu grins as he continues ruffling Kageyama’s hair, making it stick up everywhere, “That’s what you get for finishing so late,”

Kageyama yelps when Atsumu suddenly ruffles his hair as well, “Ah, Atsumu-san, don’t join in as well!”

“No way! It wasn’t every day we could mess up your perfectly silky straight hair,”

“You—” Kageyama suddenly started ruffling their hair as well with his equally wet hand. By the end of it, all three of their hair are drenched with water and Kageyama groan in disgust as his wet hair drips to his shirt.

“Urgh, I’m going to take a bath now. I expected this from Atsumu-san, not you, Osamu-san,”

Osamu laughs, ignoring Atsumu offended noise as he ruffles Kageyama’s hair one last time, “That’s genetic for you. Anyway, go get ready now. Wouldn’t want your friends to wait too long,”

Kageyama push the hand away and pout, “And whose fault is that?”

Osamu laughs harder as Kageyama left to take a bath, still pouting and grumbling all the way. He turns to look at Atsumu who’s looking at Kageyama’s retreating form fondly. He sighs before punching his brother in the arm.

“Ow! Why did you do that for?”

“You’re so obvious you idiot,”

Atsumu grumbles as he slicked his wet hair back, “It’s not like I’m hiding it or something… It’s Tobio-kun so it’s not like he’s going to notice it anyway,”

Osamu hums in agreement, “Well, you’re right about that. Someone like Tobio-kun doesn’t seem to know anything when it comes to romance,”

“Well, about that…”

Atsumu seems to hesitate before he continues speaking, “Apparently Tobio-kun had an ex-boyfriend… We met him yesterday at the airport,”

Osamu look at him in surprise, “Really? That Tobio-kun?”

“Yeah… I was surprised too. But… it doesn’t seem like Tobio-kun remembers him. Shouyou-kun thinks it’s because of the accident he had a year ago,”

Osamu grew speechless at the buckets of information he receives and could only mutter out a soft, “Wow…”

“Yeah…”

Atsumu grew quiet again which prompted Osamu to smack the back of his head, “Ow! This is abuse at this point!”

“What are ya being depressed about anyway? He’s an ex and Tobio-kun doesn’t even remember him. Isn’t that like negative points for that guy?”

“I—I guess?”

“Then stop sulking and clean yourself up!”

Atsumu yelps as Osamu slapped his shoulder, rubbing it afterwards, “Okay, okay, geez! I’m the one who’s still doing sports here, why are your hit so strong,”

Osamu shrugs with a smug grin on his face, “Perks of being a former spiker and carrying a big sack of rice every day,”

Atsumu roll his eyes, “Urgh, show-off,”

Osamu stuck out his tongue as Atsumu left to take a bath. Cleaning up the table, Osamu sighs as he looks at the photos on the table, picking up the one with the three of them. Even after knowing Kageyama ever since high school, it seems that there is still a part of Kageyama that they didn’t know.

Never once did Kageyama mention having a boyfriend the whole 6 years they knew each other.

* * *

“Kageyama! Over here!”

Kageyama smiles as he waves at his friends, one of them with spiked up hair and another looks like he just woke up. Atsumu trails behind Kageyama as he greeted his friend happily.

“Ah, this is Miya Atsumu, by the way. I’m living with him and his brother for now until I find a new apartment,”

“Oh, Nice to meet you. I’m Kindaichi Yuutarou,”

The sleepy boy wave lazily as he introduces himself, “Kunimi Akira,”

Atsumu plastered on his friendly smile as he shakes hand with Kindaichi, “Nice to meet ya! Miya Atsumu, also known as Tobio-kun’s favourite senpai,”

“No, you’re not,”

“Let me have this, Tobio-kun!”

Kindaichi laughs at their interaction though Kunimi seems to squint suspiciously at him though he ignores the gaze, “Well, let’s go find Tobio-kun his new home! The later the better so that Tobio-kun can stay longer with us,”

Kageyama grumbles, “Atsumu-san…”

Atsumu rolls his eyes as he pushes Kageyama away and gesturing at the other two, “Yeah, yeah, independence and all of that. Let’s go!”

Atsumu wouldn’t brag but he’s confident in his ability to find the perfect apartment for someone. He was the one who found Osamu and his apartment that is at the perfect distance for both of their university. For Kageyama, certainly, the most perfect apartment are ones near their university, close to a volleyball court and close enough to their apartment so that they could visit each other often.

Because of course they would. They’re friends.

But the whole day was mostly filled with them goofing around and finding food since apparently to Kageyama, satisfying his craving for Japanese food is more important than finding a place to stay.

Not that Atsumu is complaining as he smiles at Kageyama enthusiasm when eating katsudon.

“Miya-san is from the Inarizaki when Karasuno is at the Nationals right? Is that how you know Kageyama?”

Atsumu nodded at Kindaichi’s question. This one seems a lot friendlier compared to the other one, “Well, to be more exact we met during the Youth Camp. It was totally fate,”

Kageyama stopped chewing, “I was pissed at Atsumu-san when we first met,”

“You were too sensitive!”

“No one would just call someone goody-two-shoes out of nowhere,”

Kindaichi laugh and Kunimi smiles a little, “Kageyama a goody-two-shoes? Now that’s quite the surprise,”

“It’s true Yuutarou-kun. Tobio-kun is just so good, honest and obedient that he reminded me of a cute puppy and I—ow!”

Atsumu glares at Kageyama who is still casually stuffing his face as if he didn't just his whole strength to kick Atsumu’s leg, “You know, I’m starting to think that you and ‘Samu are complicit in abusing me,”

Kageyama shrugs, “Talk shit, get hit. It’s common sense,”

Kunimi smirks, “Is he still a goody-two-shoes then, Miya-san?”

Atsumu huffs out as he pointed his chopstick at Kageyama, “Not at all! My goody-two-shoes are now being all rebellious,”

“Well, we all know that being a good kid isn’t Kageyama’s shtick,” Kindaichi grin turn into a small smile, “But well, I’m glad to see that you feel better after what happened, Kageyama,”

Kageyama stops eating as he looks at Kindaichi with a confused look, “It’s been years since middle school, right? You don’t need to worry about what happened anymore, Kindaichi,”

“…huh?” Kageyama doesn’t seem to notice Kindaichi’s astonished look as he continues,

“We were kids after all and I thought we patched up already even before I left for Italy?”

Kindaichi seems to be at a loss for words as he stutters, “No—I was talking about—"

“Kageyama, come with me for some drinks. All these katsudon are making me sick,”

Kageyama tilts his head a little though he nodded at Kunimi, “Yeah, sure,”

Kunimi gave the two of them a knowing glance before he ushers Kageyama away to the drinking booth. Kindaichi still looks slightly disturbed before Atsumu took pity on him.

“Did Tobio-kun told you about his accident a year ago, Yuutarou-kun?”

Kindaichi snaps out of his stupor and nodded, “Ah, yeah. He didn’t say much but then Hinata said that it’s nothing too bad,”

Atsumu hesitates a little as he thinks about what he should and shouldn’t say. But Kindaichi knows Kageyama longer so he might have some information regarding this mysterious ex since talking to Hinata about the man seems to be a landmine he doesn’t want to be at the end of the usual cheerful stamina monster’s wrath.

“Well, here’s the thing. I don’t know much but apparently, that accident did do something to Tobio-kun’s memory, most specifically his memory regarding his… boyfriend?”

Kindaichi’s expression as he looks away sadly, “Oh… Oikawa-san…”

Oikawa.

He finally has a name for that face.

Atsumu hums, “So this Oikawa is Tobio-kun’s boyfriend?”

“Ex,” Kindaichi’s voice turns sharp, “They weren’t… good for each other. Everyone who knows could see it,”

His words make Atsumu stops, “Everyone who knows? It's not public?”

“Well—”

“We brought drinks for you guys as well,”

Kageyama looked at them proudly as he hands them their drinks. Atsumu quickly returns to his usual smile as he thanks the younger. Kageyama return to his seat and took a sip from his drink.

“What are you guys talking about?”

Kindaichi startled and Atsumu quickly covers for him, “Just about your middle school days, Tobio-kun. I’d hope that we could meet each other during that time,”

Kageyama smiles sadly as he fiddles with his chopsticks, “Ah, I wasn’t really at my best during that time. I wouldn’t want you to see me like that, Atsumu-san,”

Atsumu’s heart grew fond at the words, “Eh, you couldn’t be worse than me. I still wish that we could’ve met earlier,”

Kageyama smiles and Atsumu could see the tip of his ears reddened a bit and he chuckles before a groan came from Kunimi.

“Seriously, PDA? Italy has taught you to be bold, Kageyama,”

Kageyama flushes brightly as he lightly hit Kunimi, “Shut up! That’s just—how Atsumu-san and I interacts,”

“Our little Kageyama is growing up so fast, right, Kunimi?”

“Ah, kids grew up so fast,”

They both pretend to wipe their tears as Atsumu cackles and Kageyama grew even more flustered, “Stop acting like my parent! Kunimi, you’re younger than me!”

“Not mentally,”

“You—”

Momentarily, Atsumu was able to forget the conversation he had with Kindaichi. For now, he enjoys looking at the various expression on Kageyama as he interacts with his old friends, looking happy and unburden.

There seems to be something more going on regarding Kageyama’s past relationship, and the only person who knows everything about it had locked away the memories, intentionally or otherwise.

And Atsumu doesn’t intend to let Kageyama relive those painful unknown memories.

* * *

“Kita-san, Aran-san, long time no see,”

Kita smiles at Kageyama as he pats the taller man, “You got taller, Tobio,”

Aran laughs as he pats Kageyama’s head as well, “At this rate, you’ll surpass me in no time, huh?”

Kageyama nodded, “That’s the plan,”

They laugh as Kageyama fixes his hair with a pout on his face, “Why does everyone keep ruffling my hair?”

Atsumu laughs as he helps Kageyama to straighten his hair, “Your hair is just so silky and nice to touch, Tobio-kun. Also, you’re the baby here,”

Kageyama continues to pout and send a weak glare to Atsumu, “I’m twenty-one years old, Atsumu-san. I’m old enough to drink now, too!”

“That’s what the babies always says,”

Before Kageyama could retort, Kita chimes in, “Atsumu, stop bothering Tobio and help out here,”

“Ehh, I’m not the future chef here,”

Kita only stares silently at him and Atsumu immediately went to help Osamu without any other words. Kageyama and Aran laugh at his antics as they took a seat at the dining table.

“We heard that you’re searching for an apartment today. Did you find one?”

Kageyama shook his head, “We got distracted by the food,”

“You mean you got distracted by the food,” Atsumu chimes in through the kitchen before he was dragged back by Osamu leaving a pouting Kageyama who grumbles under his breath.

“There’s no taiyaki and katsudon in Italy…”

“Well, as they say, there’s no place like home,”

“And nothing is more home to you than pork curry rice, right, Tobio-kun?” Kageyama’s eyes sparkle at the plate of curry in front of him that Osamu serves, “And since the rice is from Kita-san, you bet it’ll be extra delicious!”

Kageyama’s stomach grumbles and Osamu wonders how he could still be hungry after the food trip they apparently had today but he merely smiles as Kageyama’s face practically beams the moment he took the first bite.

“I could die happy right now,”

“Don’t die yet, Tobio-kun!” Atsumu immediately took a seat next to Kageyama with his own plate of rice, “Wow, your face looks like someone just gave you a million yen,”

Kageyama shook his head as he moans softly when he swallows the food and turn to Atsumu with a serious look on his face, “It’s even better than that, Atsumu-san. This is the food they serve in heaven,”

Atsumu laughs as Aran stares incredulously as Kageyama took another bite. Kita smiles as he took a bite.

“Tobio is right. You’ve really improved a lot, Osamu,”

“…really?”

Atsumu grins as his brother turns red and smile sheepishly. It really is good and Atsumu couldn’t help letting out a proud smile as he took another bite.

“See, Tobio-kun. If you stay with us you got to taste this deliciousness every day,”

Kageyama glare at his plate in concentration, “Tempting, Atsumu-san it’s been a long time since I’ve got a room to myself. Back in Italy, it’s with Hinata and during my first year of university…”

He did have a roommate during that time… right?

For almost a year they live together.

But who…?

“Tobio-kun?” Atsumu asks worriedly as Kageyama put a hand to his forehead and his face scrunches in pain, “Are you okay?”

Kageyama shook his head as he drinks a glass of water, “I… It’s fine. It’s just the scar has been throbbing a lot ever since I came back. Maybe I should see a doctor…”

“It would be bad to leave an injury for too long. You should definitely get them checked,”

Kageyama nodded as he continues eating and the conversation around them continues though Atsumu glances worriedly at Kageyama every now and then throughout dinner.

* * *

**> Apparently they dated after Oikawa-san graduated  
>They never told anyone  
>We find out accidentally at the end of our third year**

**< What do you mean that they are not good with each other?  
<Did Oikawa…?**

Atsumu grew nervous as he waited for Kindaichi’s reply. He knows that he won’t be able to control himself knowing that someone laid a hand on Kageyama.

**> We don’t know**  
**> But we know that Kageyama looks miserable every time we met and talk about Oikawa-san**  
**> Even then he wouldn’t break up with Oikawa-san until one day he just tells us that he’s going to Italy and had broken up with Oikawa-san**

Atsumu sighs as he read the messages from Kindaichi. From the moment they exchange numbers with each other, he knew that they will be talking about this but it doesn’t seem like even Kindaichi know much about their relationship.

Although Hinata’s hostility, Kindaichi and Kunimi subtle protectiveness, and the fact that Oikawa is the only one that Kageyama somehow forgets say everything about their relationship.

 **< Thanks Yuutarou-kun. Let’s have lunch again one day ( ^w^ )** **ﾉ**

He closes his phone and took a deep breath. Due to their distance, He never got to know Kageyama more than the Karasuno and his middle school teammates. But he’ll be damn if someone tried to hurt Kageyama.

“Ah, the blondie from before. Azuma-kun… is it?”

Atsumu startled as he turns towards the familiar mocking voice. He glares, not bothering to put on his usual friendly smile as he looked at the brown-haired who is smiling casually at him.

“It’s Atsumu actually,” His voice grew colder as he spat the man’s name, “Oikawa-kun,”

“Oh? You know my name?”

“Of course, but…” Atsumu smiles mockingly, “Not from Tobio-kun, that’s for sure,”

The man returns his glare and he smirks.

Hinata, Kindaichi, Kunimi and surely the others as well are protecting Kageyama.

And there’s no way he’ll let this man hurt Kageyama again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone agrees that the best ship is actually 'Tobio X all the love he deserves platonic or otherwise', right?  
> Though at this rate Osamu is winning the race without participating thanks to his Shokugeki no Osamu power.  
> Also thank you for 100+ kudos!! 💕💕
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	4. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey heyyy  
> Look back at the previous chapters  
> There are extra illustrations ✰

“I like you, Oikawa-san,”

He turns to look at Kageyama’s beet-red face. He smiles as he moves closer to the boy, “Don’t you have the Karasuno’s graduation to go to, Tobio-chan?”

“Ah, it finishes already and I… I need to see you,”

Oikawa said nothing and just cup Kageyama’s cheek with his left hand, “Are you saying that you love me, Tobio-chan?”

Kageyama avoids his eyes as he grew redder and he nodded. Oikawa’s smile grew as he releases Kageyama’s face, “Ah, too bad that Seijoh is not wearing gakuran. I could’ve gives you my second button,”

Kageyama looked at Oikawa in surprise, “H—huh?”

He smiles as he moves his hand to the front of Kageyama’s uniform, “Instead, why don’t you give me your second button?”

Kageyama’s eyes grew wider and Oikawa finds himself smiling fondly at the boy’s wobbly smile, “Does—does that mean…?”

Kageyama remains smiling as Oikawa took the button from his uniform. He clenches the button in his hand and smiles at Kageyama,

“Thank you for giving me your heart, Tobio,”

* * *

Oikawa looked at the worn button in his hand.

A few years ago, he would have thrown it out without thinking twice.

But now…

“Are you done sulking?”

Oikawa chuckles as he put the button back in the box, “I’m not sulking, Iwa-chan. Just remember the good old days,”

“Good old days, huh…” Iwaizumi sighs before he left the room, “Once you’re done reminiscing then let’s go. You know how annoying Hanamaki and Matsukawa will be if we’re late,”

“Yeah, yeah,” he retrieves his jacket and join Iwaizumi outside, “Wouldn’t want to lose our money to them,”

Oikawa looked up to the tree and he could still imagine the cherry blossom from that day; the day where Kageyama Tobio willingly gives him his heart despite Oikawa Tooru only giving him pieces of his heart.

“I want to see Tobio again,”

Iwaizumi stops and he turns to Oikawa with an exasperated look, “Haven’t you had enough with messing with that kid? If he’s moving on like what you told me, then you should too,”

Oikawa shook his head, “He wasn’t moving on. He just… erased it. I don’t know if it’s intentional or not; Tobio-chan isn’t that smart to be manipulating people,”

He chuckles a little at that though Iwaizumi remain impassive, “Even without him being here you’re still insulting him. What makes you think that you guys can work again,”

Oikawa averted his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah I… I have to work on that, right?”

Iwaizumi suddenly punches Oikawa’s shoulder while clicking his tongue, “Just so you know… I would always be your friend. But I wouldn’t hesitate to punch you if you’re being shitty to Kageyama,”

Oikawa rubbed his shoulder with a sheepish grin, “You already did… But you have always had such a soft spot for Tobio-chan, huh?”

Iwaizumi only shrugs as a response and Oikawa snickers.

Kageyama Tobio is a constant presence in his mind ever since they first meet each other. Even now, Oikawa couldn’t forget his blue eyes that would always look at people sincerely, the perfectly cared hands that are always so gentle and the warmth of his body after they make love.

He misses that warmth.

“Oh…”

“What’s wrong?”

He stares at the familiar blonde who’s looking at his phone and walking around casually. He gritted his teeth as he remembers the event from before as the blonde acted so familiarly with Kageyama.

“Sorry, Iwa-chan. There’s someone I need to meet for a second,”

“Huh? Wait—”

Oikawa didn’t wait for Iwaizumi’s answer as he walked behind the blonde, plastering a smile on his face as he forces his words to be interlaced with honey-sweet mocking tone,

“Ah, the blondie from before. Azuma-kun… is it?”

The blonde seems to startle as he turns towards Oikawa. He glares with annoyance at the blatant butchering of his name on purpose.

“It’s Atsumu actually,” His voice is cold and lacking respect as he spat out Oikawa’s name, “Oikawa-kun,”

Oikawa blink in slight surprise, “Oh? You know my name?”

“Of course, but…” Atsumu smiles mockingly, “Not from Tobio-kun, that’s for sure,”

Now that grate his nerves.

He glares at the blonde who’s smiling triumphantly. Before he could lose his temper, he feels a familiar hand on his shoulder, “Oi, I told you that we’re going to be late,”

“Iwa-chan…”

Iwaizumi look at Atsumu who is now smiling less threateningly but is still tense and keeping his guard up. Iwaizumi also send a suspicious glance towards Atsumu before he talks.

“Sorry about this idiot. Um, do the two of you perhaps… know each other?”

“Eh, not really,” Atsumu shrugs, “We just have a mutual…”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen as he seems to connect the dots and flick his fingers, “Are you the one with Kageyama at the airport yesterday?”

“Oh? You were there too?”

Iwaizumi shrugs, “Yeah, though I didn’t manage to meet him because a certain someone just couldn’t wait to see Kageyama that he left me,”

Iwaizumi ignores Oikawa’s glare as he went to Atsumu and held his hand up with a smile on his face, “I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, Kageyama’s middle school senpai along with this idiot, Oikawa Tooru,”

Atsumu’s face seems to have softened as a semi-friendly smile appear on his face when he accepts the handshake, “Miya Atsumu,”

His fox-like eyes meet with Oikawa as he spoke the next words, “Tobio-kun’s close friend and roommate,”

Either Iwaizumi didn’t notice the tension or he’s ignoring it, Iwaizumi just smiles fondly, “Kageyama is doing well then? Good for him,”

“Iwaizumi-san you really care about Tobio-kun, huh?” despite the sincerity in those words, Oikawa knew that it was a jab towards him, “I’ll be sure to tell him that,”

“Iwa-chan, let’s get going now,”

He didn’t wait for Iwaizumi’s answer as he turns away from Atsumu. Despite the annoyance he felt towards the blonde, he musters up one last smile towards him.

“See you later then, Atsumu-chan,”

“Ah, see you later, Oikawa- _kun_ ,”

He knows that neither of them means those words.

“Oi, what was that about?”

Oikawa clicks his tongue as he remembers the way Kageyama allow himself to be held so closely by the blonde and the use of first names.

Miya Atsumu.

There’s no way he can let Kageyama be with someone like that.

* * *

“I meet up with someone name Iwaizumi today. He said he’s your middle school senpai?”

Kageyama perks up as he nodded from the kitchen, “Yeah, he’s my senpai. I haven’t seen him for so long, how is he?”

Atsumu tries to sound nonchalant, “He looks good. Seems like a nice guy,”

‘Unlike someone…’

Kageyama hums as he put the plate of onigiris in front of Atsumu, “He really is. I hope to see him sometime soon,”

‘Better not…’

Atsumu controls his frown by smiling at the onigiris in front of him, “Looks good! ‘Samu help you with this?”

Kageyama looks nervous as he fiddles with his fingers, “Yeah. This is my fourth try so… I hope it’ll taste good,”

Atsumu smiles fondly as he took a bite of the poorly shaped onigiri yet Atsumu could tell the effort Kageyama put into the onigiris.

“The shape is weird,” Kageyama deflates a bit before Atsumu quickly added, “But the taste… it’s really good. It made me want to eat it forever…”

Kageyama noticeably beams as he smiles, “Really!? You think it’s good?”

“Absolutely,” Atsumu took one bite after another until the plate is all clean, “Thanks for the meal, Tobio-kun,”

Kageyama smiles and Atsumu was tempted to take a picture of those rare sweet smile of Kageyama Tobio. Kageyama gave another plate of onigiris and Atsumu is more than happy to finish them.

“Since when did you start cooking, Tobio-kun?”

“Well, I should start practising cooking if I want to live by myself. It won’t be good for my body if I keep having takeout,”

“That’s why I say to just live here with us. We could have a delicious home-cooked meal every day. We have ‘Samu after all~”

Kageyama grins as he stood up, “Nice try, Atsumu-san. Let me get you a drink,”

“Aww…” Atsumu took another bite as he looks at Kageyama’s retreating form. He genuinely wouldn’t mind living with Kageyama every day. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner together, movie nights together… Just him, his brother and Tobio-kun…

“Woww nice going there Soseki,”

Atsumu looks at Osamu who’s looking at him with a knowing grin.

Never mind, they could throw Osamu out. He wouldn’t mind eating Kageyama’s onigiri for the rest of his life anyway.

“Hah? What are you talking about?”

Osamu roll his eyes, “Seriously? Eat it forever? Might as well be on your knee and present a ring,”

“Ah,”

“Oh,”

“Oh…”

The moment his mind finally catches up, he accidentally chokes on the onigiri, causing him to cough violently, surprising both Osamu and Kageyama who appears with a glass of water in his hand and hurriedly went to Atsumu who is being helped by a flustered Osamu.

“Atsumu-san! Are you okay? What happened, Osamu-san?”

“Ah, well… This is kind of my fault…”

For Atsumu, he is more concern with his flushing face rather than the fact that he had a taste of the afterlife from an onigiri. He’ll take this secret to the grave and drag Osamu to hell with him as well so that this incident will be buried forever.

Kageyama mouth grew wobbly as he tried to stifle his grin, “Atsumu-san you… you’re really weird sometimes…”

“Sometimes? Clearly, you need to spend more time with this dumbass, Tobio-kun,”

“Hey!”

But that’s right… It would be nice if things could stay like this forever. Just the three of them laughing in the homey apartment.

* * *

The doctor said there’s nothing wrong with his scar. The wound has fully closed up and he said that it’s probably due to the stress of moving. Kageyama felt relieved upon hearing that but the doctor said to refrain from doing any stressful activities, not that he was doing any anyway. The most stressful thing he did so far is trying to find an apartment and even that ended up in just hanging out with his friends for food.

All in all, stress-free.

Just to be safe, Kageyama decided to have some pastries from the nearby bakery he happens to see. Some milkshakes and milk bread wouldn’t hurt his diet. And somehow, he’s craving for milk bread despite him being quite indifferent to the pastry.

His mouth waters as he looked at the delicious pastries displayed on the glass case. Tsukishima would be happy to see the number of strawberries on the strawberry shortcake and Atsumu and Osamu would be happy to have some treats. He smiles as he decided to buy two pieces of lemon cake alongside the milkshake and the milk bread.

As he reaches his wallet, however, a smooth voice stops his movement.

“Let me pay for that,”

Kageyama hand falters as he looks at the owner of the voice. His eyes widen in recognition.

“You are—”

“You wouldn’t mind spending some time with me, right, gorgeous?”

Kageyama’s face flushes at the name though he looks at the handsome man warily, hesitates for a while before he follows the man to a table. His mind flashes back to the man with the bouquet at the airport who looks at him with despair when Kageyama didn’t recognize him. Atsumu said that the man is creepy but…

There’s something about him…

“I have no doubt that you have a strong pair of legs but it wouldn’t hurt to take a seat,”

Kageyama sputters before he hesitantly took a seat in front of the stranger, still looking at him warily and the man seems to notice as he smiles sadly at Kageyama.

“You really don’t remember me, huh? You’re not really good at lying after all,”

Kageyama nodded slowly as he averted his eyes, “I’m sorry…”

The man was silent for a while before his voice come out, slow and yet Kageyama was still able to catch the sadness in his voice, “…it’s okay…”

“Um!” Kageyama straightens up as he looked at the man in the eye, “I’m sorry I forgot about you! I—there was this accident and I thought that everything is just fine so—”

“Woah, woah, calm down, Tobio-chan. An accident? Are you okay?”

Kageyama’s heart flutter hearing his first name coming from the man’s mouth as the man look at him worriedly.

How did he forget someone like this…?

“I’m okay… it was a year ago… But, how do you know me? I don’t even know your name but you call me by my first name so…”

The man smiles as he rests his head on his hand, “I’m Oikawa Tooru, your senpai back in middle school. We met when you were just a tiny little first-year while I’m a third-year,”

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, “Then… you’re in the same year as Iwaizumi-san? How come I can’t…”

He tried to remember his middle school years.

How he met Kindaichi and Kunimi, the time they play volleyball with each other, the moment grief struck him and resulting in the fallout of their friendship before they reconcile a few years later.

Iwaizumi… his upperclassman who always help him during the one year they have together. The gentle head pat he receives whenever he makes a nice toss. Iwaizumi who was always with—

They were a duo—

His scar throbs.

He would look at Iwaizumi, but more than that he would look at—

He can’t see the face!

His head hurts—!

“Tobio!”

He gasps as he looks at Oikawa who is cupping his face with both of his hand as his brown eyes stare at him with worry.

“I—I can’t remember! You were there, right? But why—? I can’t—”

“Tobio!” the man’s voice snapped his attention back as he smiles to comfort him, “It’s okay, you don’t need to force yourself. You don’t need to remember,”

“But—” Kageyama tried to turn his head away from Oikawa as much as he could due to the hand still cupping his face, “How could I just forget about you like that… It’s not fair…”

Oikawa was silent and Kageyama closes his eyes, afraid to see disappointed and possibly anger in those brown eyes. What he didn’t expect is a laugh coming from Oikawa, making him open his eyes to see Oikawa looking at him fondly.

“It’s so like you to feel guilty for something that wants your fault. You’re always stupidly kind like that…”

Kageyama pouts at the word ‘stupid’ which prompted another laugh from Oikawa, “Sorry, sorry. I’m just saying that you’re too kind, Tobio-chan. I really don’t mind,”

“But—”

“Shush,” Kageyama blushes as the finger touches his lips, earning a smirk from Oikawa, “What kind of senpai would I be to hold a grudge against someone who doesn’t intentionally forget me, right?”

Kageyama sighs in relief as he let slip a small smile on his face. Oikawa smiles as well as he holds out his hand for a handshake.

“We could always create new memories, right? I wouldn’t mind getting to know you again, Tobio-chan,”

“Oh…” Kageyama can feel his face flushing even more as he shyly holds the handsome man’s hand and he nodded, “Then… I’ll be in your care, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa’s smile seems to be a little painful as his name come out of Kageyama’s mouth and yet he continues to smile and shakes Kageyama’s hand.

His scar throbs again.

* * *

‘It’s okay if you don’t remember, Tobio,’

‘It’s much better this way,’

_‘Fall in love with me again, please,’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That kids, is what you call a manipulation.  
> Also my bias for miyakagemiya trio is really showing in this story.  
> You know what? Let's just change the endgame to allkage /j
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	5. Oikawa Tooru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at the previous chapters. There are illustrations now!

“Ahn—Nnnh—Hngh…”

He could never get tired of his moan whenever he touches the younger like this. The way his blue eyes seems to twinkle even more with unshed tears as his short, trimmed fingers continue marking his back, matching the multiple marks on the boy’s neck.

“To—Tooru…”

He covers the panting mouth with his own lips and swallows the moans. Their movement grew more erratic as Kageyama’s moans grew louder the moment he releases his mouth.

“Ah—Tooru I’m—! Ngh…!”

“I’m close too, Tobio—Ah…"

Kageyama shivers as he feels Oikawa spills inside of him before he himself release on his stomach, marking Oikawa’s stomach as well. He panted and moan as Oikawa slip out of him, spilling the cum from his abused hole. He hesitantly reaches down to his bottom and blushes as he looks at the sticky cum on his fingers. He hears Oikawa laugh beside him as the older pull him close so that Kageyama is laying his head on his naked chest. He sighs as he snuggles up to Oikawa's chest and letting him play with his hair that’s slightly wet by sweats.

“How is it for your first time, Tobio-chan?”

Kageyama hides his face on Oikawa’s chest as he mumbles, “It’s… weird… but good…”

Oikawa laughs even more and kisses the top of Kageyama’s head, “I told you that it’ll be fine. I’ll make sure that I’ll always feel good for you,”

“Mmhmm…” Kageyama wrapped his arm around Oikawa, relishing from the other's warmth, “You’re so warm, Tooru…”

Oikawa smile as soft snores can be heard from the boy. He played with the boy’s hair lightly and caresses his slim, beautiful fingers. Up close, he could see the boy’s long eyelashes as well as his clear skin. He hummed as he hugged the boy close.

“You really would give everything to me, huh, Tobio…”

He closes his eyes and allows his mind to slowly drift away to sleep by the boy’s snore.

‘I wonder how much more can you give me?’

* * *

“Oikawa Tooru… Oikawa Tooru…”

He frowns as he finishes looking at all the book he has. His stuff from Italy recently arrives and despite spending the whole day looking for any trace of Oikawa Tooru in his stash, it’s as if Oikawa Tooru was erased from his past.

Middle school yearbook, a few photographs in the photo album and his volleyball journal that seems to be missing a few volumes.

‘Did Hinata forget to send a few of them…?’

Which he knows is impossible since despite how clumsy Hinata is, he checks the contents multiple time to make sure that none of their stuff is left behind in their old apartment.

‘But if it’s during middle school then…’

He whipped out his phone and open the group chat between him, Kindaichi and Kunimi. Typing out the message he waited for either of them to reply to his message. After 5 minutes, Kageyama grew bored and began looking at the photo album. Smiling wistfully at the photo of him with Kazuyo and Miwa, the many memories with Karasuno, the multiple trips with Hinata…

“Ah…” He smiles as he looked at the photo of him in between the Miya twins at a ramen restaurant. Despite them being relatively friendly with each other, it was after this meet up that they truly become friends. It was one of the few times he was grateful for his terrible sense of direction as it gives him two of his most precious friends.

The notification sound from his phone snaps him out of his reverie as he checks the reply 30 minutes after he sends the message. He furrows his eyebrows as he read the reply.

**Ka: Do you guys know Oikawa Tooru?**

**Ku: Why?**

30 minutes only for a simple reply? Well, since it’s Kunimi it isn’t so weird but…

**Ka: I met him yesterday but I can’t remember him**

Another 15 minutes pass and Kageyama grumbles as he kept on looking at his phone every once in a while, waiting for a reply.

 **Ki: Yeah, he’s our senpai during our first-year  
** **Ki: Don’t mind him much**

Even Kindaichi’s word somehow feels… off. His heart is thrumming and his scar hurt a little. He hovers his finger over the phone, hesitating on what to ask.

**Ka: What is he like?**

The reply doesn’t arrive as late as before.

 **Ku: It’s not like we know him much  
** **Ku: We’re in a different grade after all**

That makes… sense…

And yet there’s still unease in him.

He caresses his throbbing scar, “Why… Who are you, Oikawa Tooru?”

* * *

“It’s weird that you would want to meet with me of all people, Miya-san,”

Atsumu wouldn’t believe that he would be willing to go out alone with Tsukishima Kei either. Although he knew that the blonde cares a lot about Kageyama in his own hot-cold way, the Atsumu is not immune to the tall blonde’s natural ability to rile people up. In fact, he’s pretty sure that Tsukishima has a tendency to targets him more than Osamu.

“Eugh, I don’t want to hang out with you alone either Kei-kun but I know that you care about Tobio-kun—”

“I don’t—”

“So, I’m going to need your input here, buddy,”

Tsukishima grumbles as he ate another piece of the cake. A little bribe never hurts.

“What do you need to know? Because if you need tips on how to bone the King then I would prefer to jump out of an aeroplane,”

“I can’t believe that ‘Samu thought that you’re the least dramatic of your friend group,” he sighs, ignoring Tsukishima’s insinuation, “It’s about Oikawa Tooru,”

The sound of the fork stabbing the plate surprises both him and all the other patrons inside the café. He can feel his heart racing a bit before Tsukishima lifts his head with an expressionless look and similarly emotionless voice.

“Oh, that guy,”

“…I think you’re on the same level of being dramatic as Shouyou-kun at this point,”

“Don’t compare with that stamina monster,” Tsukishima roll his eyes as he took another bite, “How do you even know about that guy anyway?”

“I… met him?” Tsukishima continues staring at him and Atsumu grew nervous at the piercing stare as his voice slowly become softer, “…when at the airport welcoming Tobio-kun…?”

Tsukishima is mostly cool-headed and always seems to get the upper-hand when it comes to insulting, with the exception of a few people (a certain bed-haired man that Hinata mentions once).

But the face he has now is that of a man preparing to murder.

“That bastard… How did he even know Kageyama’s flight schedule?”

“Hell if I know. All I know is that he’s Tobio-kun’s ex who he somehow forgets,”

“Somehow forgets?” Tsukishima finishes his cake and crosses his arm “I know that King is dumb but there’s no way he could forget Oikawa. Guy’s too flashy to be forgotten,”

He nodded, remembering the man’s eye-catching presence, “My guess is that it’s an effect of his accident a year ago. Though it seems that Oikawa Tooru is the only one he had forgotten,”

“Oh wow,” Tsukishima scoffs as his words are filled with venom and sarcasm, “It just so happen that the memories of the worst person ever were erased. Good for the King, honestly,”

Atsumu groans, “Come on, Kei-kun, help me out here. What should I do with that guy?”

“Why are you even asking me? Hinata is the one closest to King,”

“I did ask Shouyou-kun but…” Hinata still insists to leave it alone; to let Kageyama remain oblivious to the fact that he had forgotten a crucial figure in his life, no matter how painful the memory is, “But I don’t know if I want to keep this a secret from Tobio-kun… Which one is more painful; to tell him or to remain ignorant?”

Tsukishima was silent for a while before he sighs, “I would just tell him, no matter how painful it is simply because that’s Kageyama’s right. Hinata is just being too mushy with him, trying to coddle him up and protect him from the world,”

“True…”

Atsumu would have just directly told the truth too because he agrees with Tsukishima. It’s just the normal thing to do and it’s what he’s good at; telling someone directly what they need to hear. He did this before to Kageyama no sweat when they first met. But sometimes, some things are harder to say the closer you are to someone because you care about them too much that you can’t bear to see them being hurt.

“What did Oikawa do to Tobio?”

“He’s a cheating piece of shit,” Tsukishima spat and Atsumu felt a cold anger spikes in him, “Kageyama doesn’t need to say anything; some of us had already suspected it. And yet for some reason he just kept being with that person despite knowing the truth,”

“Tobio knew?” His heart squeezes as he imagines Tobio who remain loyal to someone who wouldn’t give his whole heart to him, “Then why—is this Oikawa Tooru really that worth it to him?”

“Apparently… yes,” Tsukishima’s voice is quiet and defeated, “I’m not the right person to talk to when it comes to feelings. I don’t think anyone is no matter how experienced they are. Kageyama love Oikawa so much that maybe… it would be better if he never remembers those feelings again,”

They were quiet as Atsumu stares at his untouched lemon cake. The cake Kageyama bring yesterday was so good that Atsumu has to try again but he had a feeling that he was just being biased. He doesn’t even like lemon cake that much.

Tsukishima sighs as he stood up to leave, “Look, do whatever you want, Miya-san. I… won’t say anything to King. Since we’ll be going to the same university next week, I’ll… keep my eye on him or whatever,”

Tsukishima huffs and at any other time, Atsumu would have laughed at the blatant _tsundereness_ of the blond, “Honestly, it might be easier to just erase the painful part. He might remember sooner or later but it doesn’t seem to change much when he was in Italy.

Tsukishima took his bag and wave at Atsumu without looking back, "Later then. Tell the King I’ll see him at the university once the semester starts,”

Atsumu mumbles out a farewell as he softly mutters, “But it wasn’t erased…”

He could see how affected Kageyama get whenever the topic got too close to Oikawa Tooru. It wasn’t a memory that was erased, it was something Kageyama subconsciously locked to prevent his heart from being hurt. Why else would the only memory to disappear be the ones related to the person who hurt him the most?

If so, what right does Atsumu have to forcefully open the chest Kageyama locked so deep within him?

He clenches his fist as he finishes the slice of lemon cake.

Kageyama doesn’t need to know… he just has to make sure that the bastard never shows his face in front of Kageyama ever again.

* * *

“Tobio-kun? Lunch is—woah!”

Osamu carefully steps on the ground that wasn’t occupied by photographs and books towards Kageyama who seems to be in deep thoughts as he looks at a book. He comes close enough to speak right next to the younger’s left ear, “Oi, Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama startled and almost dropped the thick book that Osamu now identify as another photo album. Kageyama glare lightly at Osamu and pouted, “Please don’t surprise me like that, Osamu-san,”

“That’s your fault for being so deaf,” carefully moving the books and pictures, he sat next to Kageyama, “What are you looking at?”

“Memories from a long time ago,” Kageyama smiles as he took out the picture of him with the Miya twins, “Remember when I got lost and met you two who ditches the others to get ramen?”

“Ah, yes, I remember that,” Osamu giggles at the memory, “Kita-san graduated already and since Atsumu’s the captain, we pretty much do whatever we want. He was so furious when he found out,”

“You guys always do things at your own pace,” they laugh as they continue looking at the pictures. Sometimes they would find another picture of the three of them and reminisce the moment before the picture was taken.

“I was actually looking for someone here,”

Osamu looked at Kageyama who seems to be deep in thought, “Oh?”

“I was hoping to finally see him, to know that he’s real and was a part of my life. But he’s like a phantom who left no trace in the bedroom, only a few wrinkles on the bedsheet to say that he was there,”

“What… do you mean?”

Kageyama smiles sadly as he closes the album, “I’ve forgotten someone… that person was so kind to say that it’s okay but… I feel bad. I don’t even leave any traces of him on any of my items,”

Osamu remembers the conversation he had with Atsumu before.

The forgotten ex.

“Ne, Tobio-kun…” He hesitates as Kageyama look at him with curious blue eyes, “Don’t you think that there aren’t any traces of him because… the you from before doesn’t want to?”

“Huh?”

Osamu picks up a photo of Kageyama in his childhood with his frequently absent parents, “Maybe... there’s no trace of him because you’ve already cleaned the room of any traces of him. Because you don’t want to see anything of him in the room and you want to forget that he was even there in the first place,"

“…Why would I do that?” Kageyama’s eyebrows furrow as he traces the scar on his forehead, “It’s not like I can just choose to forget what I want… Even if it’s painful, it would be unfair to him to have to restart from the beginning with me. Even if he says that he doesn’t mind starting from the beginning, I want to know the past too,”

Osamu hesitates before he speaks, “Why don’t you ask him directly then?”

“Asks him?” Kageyama looks so lost right now that Osamu brings the younger one close to him by the shoulder.

“You can ask him about the before and get to know him of the present. You can’t completely erase those memories but I’m sure you’ll remember them bit by bit the more you hang out with that guy,”

“I… do want to know him more,” Kageyama clenches his fist on his lap, “Something about him… feels familiar and ever since I met him, it feels like I finally saw something that’s not there? That—that—"

“Like something hollow?” He gently pats the younger’s hair upon seeing him looking stress. Kageyama sighs and leans into the touch.

“Yeah…” Kageyama closes his eyes, feeling himself relaxing by Osamu’s hands, “I want to know who that person is… Maybe by that way this—thing, would stop being so painful,”

“Okay… Do what you want, Tobio,”

They were silent as Kageyama rests his head on Osamu’s shoulder, letting the older continue caressing his hair gently before he breaks the silence.

“Osamu-san?”

“Yeah?”

Kageyama hesitates as Osamu’s fingers continue to weave in his hair, calming him down, “Will you keep this a secret from Atsumu-san? I don’t want to worry him and he seems to be so hostile with that person before… Once I get to know him better then I’ll tell Atsumu-san everything and introduce them together,”

“Okay…” Osamu hesitates a little at the notion of keeping secrets from his brother, “You know that he wouldn’t mind, right? Sure, that idiot can be a little possessive but…”

“Atsumu-san is… I don’t know,” Kageyama looks away but Osamu could see the tips of his ear redden, “He’s… different. I would hate to burden him anymore and to worry him,”

Oh?

Osamu was surprised for a moment before he grins, “Hehh~ but you’re okay with burdening me with this big of a secret?”

Kageyama immediately shook his head, “No—I mean—”

“Relax, I’m just teasing ya,” Osamu laughs as Kageyama pouts at him, “I got it, got it. I won’t tell anything to ‘Tsumu. It’s our own exclusive secret,”

Kageyama sighs in relief as he smiles when he catches another photo of him with Atsumu. Perhaps he was wrong after all. Kageyama might not be as oblivious towards love after all, even if he himself doesn’t seem to notice it yet. His hopeless brother isn’t as hopeless after all. He smiles as he stood up.

“Let’s go. Lunch would get cold if we wait any longer,”

“Ah, yes!” Kageyama looked around the messy room before he groans and muttering ‘later’. He carefully steps over the scattered books and photos but before he could leave the room, Osamu called out to him.

“But, Tobio-kun,”

Kageyama stops and turns towards him. His blue eyes patient as he waited for Osamu.

“If that guy turns out to be an asshole, I’ll be here, okay? Me and ‘Tsumu; we’re on your side,”

Kageyama smiles as he nods, “Thank you, Osamu-san. I’ll keep that in mind,”

He knows that he should tell his brother, but he would respect Kageyama’s wish. He is an adult after all and Osamu believes that Kageyama is strong enough. Even if he falters, Osamu would make sure to be there so that Kageyama won’t completely break.

He took a deep breathe and join Kageyama in the dining room, Atsumu joining them a few minutes later as they enjoy their daily routine together.

Osamu just hoped that this secret won’t destroy their comfortable routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's this thing called communication. You guys should try it sometimes.
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	6. Loneliness

“Give it up already, Tobio-kun. You know that a brat like you could never win against me,”

Kageyama looks at him unimpressed as he smirks, “I’m sorry Atsumu-san but your elderly body must be strained from keeping up, huh?”

Between the sparks that fly between Kageyama and Atsumu as they glare at each other, Osamu just stares at them blankly as he sips his boba milk tea. Huh, this shop’s boba is pretty good compared to the previous shop he went to.

“Round 9?”

Atsumu smirks as he pulls out his wallet, “You bet,”

Osamu sighs as the two of them went to the counter to buy more tokens. What started out as an innocent shooting game at the arcade had ignited the competitive spirits between Atsumu and Kageyama, each of them taking one set after another until they arrive at the stalemate of 4-4 score. All Osamu wanted was to just test the new onigiri shop at the mall, not to be dragged into another one of Atsumu and Kageyama’s childish rivalry.

But he has to admit, seeing his brother and Kageyama smiling as they challenge each other is refreshing to watch. It’s been years since they compete with each other so this must be refreshing for the two of them as well.

“Oi, I’m going to go check out the other stores around here,”

He doesn’t know and doesn’t care if the two of them hear him or not as the two of them are already immersed themselves in shooting the zombies. He can feel his ears ringing as he left the noisy arcade and sighs in relief as he can finally hear his own voice. He doesn’t really mind going around the mall alone, he can actually go wherever he wants.

Atsumu too must be glad to be left alone with Kageyama. He must have wanted to spend as much time Kageyama as possible as long as they still live together.

Osamu shook his head as an ugly feeling crept inside him. Seeing a bookstore from a distance, he quickly went there. Tasting through his mouth is the usual method but he would also read every once in a while, as well. Things about how to start a business, how to attract customers and all of those.

“You again?”

Osamu stops reading and looks at the man who is speaking to him. The man is good-looking, he admits but he is scowling and glaring really hard at Osamu which causes him to look around in case the man is actually glaring at someone else. The man scoffs.

“Of course I’m talking to you. Don’t go on pretending now,”

Osamu tilts his head in confusion, “Do… I know you?”

Yes, he can be absentminded and times but he’s pretty sure he could remember someone with a face like this man and dressed fashionably like some sort of model.

“Though your hair is different. Finally realizes that yellow isn’t exactly your colour?”

Well, that makes a lot more sense.

“Are you perhaps thinking that I’m Atsumu? What did the bastard do to piss off someone again now?”

The man’s face blanks and Osamu chuckles a bit. Being mistaken as his brother can be annoying at times but it never gets old. Feeling pity, he put down the book back to its shelf and fully face the still blank-faced man.

“I’m Miya Osamu, Atsumu’s twin brother,”

Something finally clicks in the man’s mind as his face suddenly reddens and he sputters. It was surprising to see so many expressions on that man’s face just a mere minutes after they met. He also doesn’t expect the man to suddenly bow his head.

“I’m so sorry! You guys just have the same irritating face—”

“Yeah, twins do be like that,”

“And your brother is just—is just—”

Osamu chuckles at the man conflicting look, “It’s okay, you can say it. He can be a jackass at times,”

The man sighs in relief, “Thank god you seem to be a lot cooler than him. Er, still, sorry for being so rude to you even though we don’t know each other,”

“It’s fine, I get it a lot,” He scrutinizes the man for a while before continuing, “How did my brother piss you off though? Is it thanks to his unfiltered mouth?”

The man scowls, “Yeah, you could say that,” as if realizing something, he smiles at Osamu, “Right, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Oikawa Tooru. Ah, as an apology, do you want to grab a bite together?”

That’s rare.

Usually, people wouldn’t want to go any further upon resolving the misunderstandings with him.

Though he doesn’t really understand what causes him to smile and accepted the man’s offer.

* * *

“Well, ‘Samu is an adult so he’ll be fine. Right? Right, Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama feels warmth bubbling inside him as Atsumu casually held his left arm, uncaring of the people around them, “He’ll be fine, Atumu-san. Between the three of us, he is the most likely to not get in trouble. Have you tried his phone?”

Atsumu pouts, “I did and he left me on read. Can you believe that!? To be betrayed by my very own baby brother…”

Kageyama sighs though he patted the man on the head to slightly assure the older, “Maybe he got tired of our antics and went to get food somewhere…”

Now it’s Kageyama’s turn to scowl, “…without me…”

They both sighs as they sat listlessly on the bench.

“Ahh I wish they have a volleyball court in this mall. It’s way more interesting than a mere ice-skating rink,”

“Ice-skating ring, huh…”

Atsumu perks up upon seeing Kageyama in deep thoughts, “Oh? Is Tobio-kun actually interested in something other than volleyball?”

Kageyama shook his head, “Well, not really. I just remembered Kazuyo-san bring me and Miwa-nee to an ice rink once. Kazuyo-san says that it might help for our foot coordination,” Kageyama giggles and Atsumu’s heart squeezes at the soft laughter, “In the end, Kazuyo-san and I falls a lot. It really hurts! Miwa-nee on the other hand somehow skates flawlessly despite it being her first time,”

Atsumu smiles and he stood up, “Well, let’s see if ten years later little Tobio-kun still sucks with ice skating or not,”

Kageyama scowls as he stood up as well, “Is that a challenge, Atsumu-san?”

Atsumu grins at the glint in Kageyama’s eyes, “What? Are you scared?”

Kageyama grins as he grabs Atsumu’s arm, “No way in hell,”

* * *

“No way! You made this yourself?”

Osamu smiles as Oikawa happily munches on his onigiri. It might seem strange, but bringing his food everywhere has become a habit at this point. At first, it was just in case either he, Atsumu or Kageyama is hungry but sometimes he would give it to people just to have a third person opinion. Seeing the unguarded, genuine expression on Oikawa now, made him glad to continue doing this.

“Aren’t ya going to eat your milk bread though, Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa shook his head, “You can have them. Take it as a payment for these amazing onigiris,”

Osamu grins wider as he took the plate of milk bread and put it in front of him, “Then, thanks for the meal~”

It never hurts to learn other types of food to be made. Varieties are always welcomed and it might give him some inspiration for an original recipe.

A few minutes later, Oikawa burps loudly which is not what he expected from someone elegant such as him and yet Oikawa doesn’t seem to mind as he wipes his mouth happily, “You know, I’m on a diet right now but I’ll give your food an exception. It’s so good it should be sold on store,”

“Well, that’s the plan,”

Oikawa blinks before he stood straighter in attention, “With how good it is, I have no doubt that it’ll be a success. You have a real talent here, Osamu-chan,”

“Ah…” Osamu avoided his gaze as he feels himself flushing slightly, “Thanks…”

Oikawa smiles at him before he suddenly pots, “How did someone as nice as you are related to Atsumu? Seriously, you’re chill after I get so rude with you and even feed me. If my heart wasn’t already taken, I could have fallen for you immediately,”

Osamu laughs loudly, “Wow, I’m flattered Oikawa-san but it’s just that I have more control compared to Atsumu,” He grins, “I think that you’ll find me insufferable soon enough,”

“Ohoho, is that a challenge?” Oikawa smirks as he crosses his arm, “Because I’ll have you know, Osamu-chan but my friend call me ‘insufferable’ at least thrice a day!”

Osamu laughs harder at Oikawa’s proud look, “I don’t think that’s something to be proud of, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa pouted before he breaks down and laughs along with Osamu. Osamu feels himself lighter than he previously is the more he speaks to Oikawa. Apparently, the man also plays volleyball and Osamu laughs at the absurdity of how he and Atsumu always seem to attracted or be attracted to volleyball players.

Perhaps he feels comfortable with Oikawa due to the fact that a part of him seems to remind him of Atsumu. Their seemingly cool exterior hides their childishness and the fierce look he had whenever they talk about volleyball.

And yet a part of Oikawa seems so different compared to his twin brother.

* * *

“Ha… are you giving up… Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama grit his teeth as he glares at Atsumu, “You… wish,”

Kageyama doesn’t know what they’re competing for right now but it might be ‘who will let go of the rail first’ given that he and Atsumu had been skating shakily with their hand never leaving the rail. Since it’s been more than ten years, Kageyama had forgotten how horrifying the sound of people falling down on the smooth surface is. There’s no doubt he’ll be feeling sore once his bottom met the surface and it seems that Atsumu is thinking of the same thing.

Finally, Kageyama decided to be the bigger person, “This… doesn’t seem to work, Atsumu-san,”

“Huh? I don’t know what you are talking about,”

“…You look like you’re about to cry,”

“Was not!”

Making sure that his feet are stable and his hand is holding on to the rail for dear life, he offers his left hand to Atsumu, “Just for now… team?”

Atsumu looks at Kageyama’s hand for what seems like forever before his trembling hand met Kageyama’s, “Okay… Until I’m sure that I can kick your ass in ice-skating,”

Kageyama scoffs and ducks his head to hide his slightly red face as Atsumu hold his hand tightly, “Okay, on a count of three,”

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

Simultaneously, the two of them releases their hold on the rail and stood on the smooth surface of ice-rink with wobbly legs. On instinct, Kageyama’s left hand went to Atsumu’s shoulder as he feels himself losing balance.

“Why—why are we doing this again?”

Atsumu seems to have the same idea as he grabbed Kageyama by the elbow to stabilize both of them, “Be—because we didn’t think of the consequence?”

“Ye—yeah, sounds about right,”

“…”

“…”

“Tobio-kun, how do we move?”

“…we could always just stay motionless forever,”

“It’s almost lunchtime!”

Kageyama shook his head as he looks determined, “Right, right. So, we do it like in a three-legged race. Right foot first…”

Atsumu nodded, “Right, right foot—”

“Wait, Atsumu-san—!”

Finally, the thing the both of them afraid of finally happens as Kageyama can feel himself falling backwards in slow motion until he was faced with the ceiling, a loud smacking sound can be here as well as pained groans from Kageyama and Atsumu.

“Ow…”

Kageyama groans as he lightly punches Atsumu in the chest, “I was about to say right foot for me and left foot you… Atsumu-san you dumbass…”

“…sorry,”

Kageyama giggles before it turns into laughter as he tried to sit up with some difficulty, “Ah… I was surprised that I didn’t cry when I try this the first time. That’s actually kind of painful,”

Atsumu smiles as he sits up as well, “Maybe your grandpa catches you before you could drop. Though it’s kind of cute imagining a chubby baby Tobio-kun crying in shock,”

Kageyama pouts and punch Atsumu’s shoulder who’s laughing, “Shut up. I can’t believe that you’re the type to laugh at a crying kid,”

Atsumu slowly stops laughing as he ruffles Kageyama’s hair, “Only for you, Tobio-kun~”

Kageyama snickers before a soft smile formed on his face, “…Let’s get going. Seems like we both lost this round,”

“Next time then?”

Kageyama nods, “Definitely,”

* * *

“Hey, give me your phone,”

Osamu blinks at Oikawa blankly, “Huh?”

“I’m giving you my contact number,” Oikawa grins as Osamu hands him his phone, “Got to make sure I have dibs for discounts once you opened up your shop~”

Osamu stares at Oikawa in slight shock before a smile appears on his face, “Sure. But only for you, Oikawa-san. I don’t do couple discount,”

Oikawa shrieks as he looks at Osamu with a red face, “H—huh?”

Osamu smirks, “You said that your heart was taken, right? Surely that person would fall in love with you in no times, or perhaps they already have,”

Oikawa looks away with a sheepish smile, “Oh… well… something like that,”

A complicated relationship, huh.

Osamu nods at him, “I’ll get going now then, Oikawa-san. Who knows what happens to my brother right now? Maybe I left him for a bit too long…”

Oikawa frown at the mention of his brother’s name though there’s a hint of amusement in his next words, “He might be finding someone else to piss off again,”

Osamu smirks, “Yeah, probably,

“But well, Tobio-kun is with him so I’m not really worried,”

The moment the name left his mouth, Oikawa’s face changes, “Tobio… Tobio-chan is here too?”

The familiar way Oikawa says Kageyama’s name made Osamu’s blood ran cold as Oikawa look at him with a desperate expression, completely different from the nonchalant look he has before, “Then—that guy is with Tobio? What the—if I had known—”

Osamu can be slow at times. Hell, when it comes to academics, Atsumu actually surpasses Osamu. And yet, looking at Oikawa’s agitated expression, the familiar way he spoke of Kageyama and the way he bad-mouthed Atsumu.

Atsumu mentions Kageyama’s ex who he has forgotten after the accident.

And the person Kageyama wanted to know after he had forgotten them.

Something clicks in his mind.

“You’re… Tobio-kun’s ex; the one he forgets, right?”

Oikawa’s expression says it all.

“Ah… I see…”

He really did like Oikawa though.

“Then… do you think that by spending time with me you can closer to Tobio-kun all while trying to find Atsumu’s weakness? Trying to separate them so that you can have Tobio to yourself?”

“No—that’s not it! It was just a coincidence that we met here and I never thought that the bastard would have a twin—”

“Don’t,” Osamu growls, his glare hardened “Don’t insult my brother. You have no fucking right to…”

They both grew quiet, Osamu still seething while Oikawa looks away guiltily. Osamu took a deep breath to calm his anger.

“I actually told Tobio-kun to go for it, you know. To talk to you and get to know you. Because I don’t know what you did to him but I trust Tobio when he said that he wants to get to know you. But you don’t even tell him who you are to him. And then… you talk to me just because—”

Oikawa look desperately at Osamu, “No! I really do like spending time with you, Osamu! I fucked up with Tobio, I know but—I want another chance with him!”

“But then why did you invite me to eat with you? You wouldn’t just do that to someone you’ve just met unless you have an ulterior motive! Another chance—that’s why you don’t care that Tobio forgot about you, right?”

“That’s…!”

“You’re using his amnesia as a way to restart fresh, huh? Do you really think you can take advantage of Tobio like that? Pretend that you never hurt him in the first place and go on to date him as if you didn’t break his heart enough for him to forget about you? Is that it!?”

Oikawa’s silence says everything he needs to know. He laughs hollowly and clicks his tongue.

“If so then you’re no different than the Oikawa Tooru who broke Tobio’s heart before. You’re just a lying piece of shit who manipulates people,”

“Osamu… I—I never lied, not to you and not to Tobio. I just… don’t want Tobio to remember the me from before…”

He turns away but he hated how sad and guilty Oikawa sounds. He hates how in those two hours he spent with Oikawa, he actually thinks that this handsome and seemingly charming stranger is kind.

Charming. Maybe that’s why.

He took a deep breath and clenches his fist, “I… really did like you, you know? That’s why… I’ll give you a choice. I won’t tell Tobio-kun about you, about who you are to him before. In exchange, you have to tell him yourself what you did to him,”

“But—"

“If you won’t do it then get the hell away from him. Unless you decide to do the right thing and come clean to Tobio-kun, me and ‘Tsumu will do our best to keep him away from you,”

Oikawa stays quiet. Osamu sighs as he turns away from the man who seems too guilty to look at him in the eye.

“Goodbye, Oikawa,”

* * *

“Why are we here again?”

“To find your stuff, Tobio-kun…”

“Oh… I guess we got sidetracked, huh,”

Atsumu chuckles, “Way too side-tracked. We didn’t even get any in the end!”

“Yeah…” Kageyama stops on his track upon seeing a familiar figure walking just ahead of them, “There’s Osamu-san!”

“’Samu!”

Excited, the two of them immediately ran to tackle Osamu who doesn’t seem to notice their presence, surprising the younger twin enough to make him yelps.

“’Samuuu how dare you left me on read?”

“’Tsumu? Tobio-kun?”

“Osamu-san, how dare you leave me with Atsumu-san just like that?”

“Hey!”

Osamu was quiet for a moment before a small smile appears on his face, “You guys are just way too absorbed with competing with each other. Seriously, it feels like I’m taking care of two kids,”

Kageyama pouts at being compared to a kid, “And you left those kids alone? How cruel, Osamu-san,”

Osamu laughs as he looks at Atsumu who had grown silent. Atsumu is looking at him weirdly before he opens his mouth.

“’Samu… you okay?”

Damn.

“I’m fine. With how your hair is now though ‘Tsumu, I think you’re worse than me right now,”

But even his insult doesn’t seem to deter his brother as the blonde frowns at him, “You’re really shitty with lying ‘Samu. Almost as bad as Tobio-kun,”

Kageyama scowls though he kept quiet, allowing the twins to speak to each other. Osamu stares at Atsumu who is still looking at him worriedly. People were surprised when they found out that Atsumu is the older one given that he appears more childish compared to the usually calm Osamu.

But what do those people know? They don’t know the Atsumu that love maybe a little too much.

Oikawa Tooru didn’t know that.

Osamu shrugs, “Just met another person that you piss off. You really need to keep your personality in check, ‘Tsumu,”

“Hey!’

“Remember how you piss off Tobio-kun when you guys have just met?”

Kageyama nodded at the mention of his name, “Atsumu-san have no filter,”

“I need a lawyer after all of these abuse from you two,”

“But…” Osamu trails off, gaining the attention of Atsumu and Kageyama, “That guy… he has no right to talk bad about you,”

Oikawa doesn’t know Atsumu as he does. Atsumu doesn’t care what people think of him but it seems that all Oikawa sees Atsumu is as an obstacle towards Kageyama.

Atsumu’s eyes widen with his mouth gaping a little, “You—Are you… mad?”

“Of course I’ll be mad,” Osamu huffs, “You’re my brother,”

“O—oh…”

Atsumu looks bashful and looks away as if he’s stuck between being embarrassed and happy. Kageyama chuckles softly behind his hand as he looks at Atsumu’s red face and Osamu smile upon seeing the younger one smiles.

Both Atsumu and him love Kageyama, albeit differently. One day, the two of them might leave him but he doesn’t mind. As long as they’re happy and well, he’ll be happy with it either way. But…

“Tobio-kun…”

Just for a little while, he would like it to still be the three of them.

“Why don’t you stay with us, for real,”

“Huh?”

Atsumu perks up, “For real, ‘Samu?”

Osamu lowers his head, avoiding their gaze, “I know that we always say it jokingly but I’m serious. Your stuff is already here anyway, right? Stay with us, Tobio-kun. I could stay in the living room if that’s what it needs for you to stay,”

“You don’t need to go that far, Osamu-san,”

“That’s right. You okay, ‘Samu?”

Osamu lifts his head to see both Atsumu and Kageyama looking at him worriedly. He grits his teeth, feeling guilty of worrying them. He shook his head, “I—sorry, I’m a little tired today…”

It feels today has been going on forever despite it only being the afternoon.

He doesn’t know what’s the right thing to do.

“Osamu-san… let’s go home, yeah? Back to our home,”

He snaps his head to see Kageyama smiling at him, “Really?”

“Really? Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama sighs although the smile remains, “Maybe it wasn’t so bad to have another roommate. It’s too troublesome to move all of that stuff anyway,”

Atsumu cheers and hugs Kageyama tightly, causing the younger to blush slightly before a scowl replacing the previous blush, “I’m doing this for Osamu-san. I still want to learn a lot about cooking from him,”

Atsumu stuck out his tongue, “Boo~ Look at ‘Samu, he’s not even joining the hug, pretending to be all cool like that. Did you know that when we were kids, he would hug me a lot when we watched—”

“Shut your mouth, ugly,” Osamu swiftly slapped the back of Atsumu’s head before he smiles and hug them with Kageyama in the middle, squirming.

“It’s too tight—Let goo,”

“Nah, we’ll go home like this just to settle our score Tobio-kun,”

“Are you guys still on that?”

Despite that, he doesn’t want to stop either.

But eventually, they release the hug as Kageyama shove them away from him roughly who then proceeds to scowl the whole way back home.

Back to their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all really thought it's going to be a simple love triangle?
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	7. Guilt

“And that’s the last of it!”

Kageyama sighs as he slumped on his new bed, “I’m so tired… Moving out to another house is much more tiring than this, huh,”

Atsumu grins as he lay on his bed and look at Kageyama that’s the opposite of him, “Aren’t you glad to be moving here then?”

“Yeah…” Kageyama smiles as he turns to lay on his side and look at Atsumu, “I didn’t think that you guys would really want me here… Thank you, Atsumu-san,”

Atsumu can feel himself blushes a little as he returns the smile, “No problem. I wouldn’t have invited you so carelessly like that if I don’t like you,”

“I see…” Kageyama blinks, his eyelids growing heavy as the last thing he sees is Atsumu mouthing out something.

* * *

Osamu opens up the door without knocking to see the room now being a mix of Atsumu and Kageyama’s stuff. Kageyama doesn’t have a lot of things to begin with but he can see traces of him by the pictures as well as the various volleyball books and journals.

“Wow, you guys actually finished cleaning up,”

“Yeah…”

His brother is laying on his side, looking at Kageyama who is soundly asleep. He sighs and sat on the bed next to his brother, “Looking at Tobio-kun sleeping is becoming of yours now, huh? You sure you’ll be okay with him being in the same room as you from now on?”

“Well, I’m the one who invites him,” Atsumu chuckles, “Ah… I didn’t realize that I’ve fallen this deep,”

Osamu smiles slightly at the look of pure adoration on his brother’s face.

For now, this kind of happiness is enough.

Atsumu turns so that he’s sitting up and looking at Osamu now, “Anyway, how’s your first day?”

“Ah, yeah, it’s good so far. The manager is really kind too showing me and helping me all around,”

“Ohh lucky. The last time I was working my boss had a stick stuck up on his ass. Always screaming and all of that,”

Osamu smirks, “Are you sure it wasn’t because of your personality?”

Atsumu scowls as he kicks his twin in the shoulder, “Dick,”

“Asshole,”

Osamu sighs before he slumped back next to Atsumu. A few years ago, the two of them could fit the single bed but now the two of them could barely lay on the bed without falling off. Atsumu groans but he doesn’t push Osamu away, letting them lay comfortably with only Kageyama’s soft snores filling the silence.

Osamu hesitates before he opens his mouth, “Hey, ‘Tsumu…”

“Hm?”

“Tobio…” Osamu turn so that he’s facing Kageyama instead of his brother, “It’ll be nice if he could be with us forever,”

“I guess…”

“But ‘Tsumu…” he smiles as Kageyama hugs the crow plushie Atsumu and Kageyama got back at the arcade tighter to his chest, “You’re still keeping quiet about his memories, right?”

Atsumu was quiet before he took a deep breath and speaks, sounding slightly annoyed, “And what of it?”

Osamu shrugs, “Nothing really. You’re an adult, he’s an adult. I don’t really have to tell you guys off like mom. Adult… they should know to do the right thing,”

Like Oikawa… he wonders if he did the right thing.

He still has the man’s number on his phone and Osamu was tempted to ask the man immediately whether he had revealed the truth to Kageyama yet. But Oikawa is an adult and older than him, he should know when to do the right thing. More than that, if Oikawa really is trying to reform himself for Kageyama as he said, he wouldn’t have continued keeping the boy in the dark.

But what would Osamu know? He hasn’t even known that man for a day.

“Nah, adults do stupid mistake too, you know? They just become good at hiding it,”

“…right,”

"You've been kind of weird ever since that day at the mall. Did something happen?"

Atsumu is loud, even when they're together Atsumu's voice is the one that can be heard louder. The soft, quiet, 'older brother' voice he's using right now always caught Osamu off guard. It makes him feel compels to tell him everything, just like when they're kids.

But they're not kids anymore.

He closes his eyes as he feels Atsumu's hand gently stroking his hair, "Nothing. I just have been thinking a lot about the future," 

But as he was lull into sleep, he thoughts that perhaps the future could wait a little longer.

* * *

Kageyama blinks to a familiar ceiling that he had recently associated as home.

Honestly, he would still prefer finding an apartment of his own and yet he had already felt comfortable living with the hectic Miya twins. It reminded him of the time he was living with Hinata where the shorter boy’s presence easily lights up the room. Maybe it’s the fact that he was used to years of living alone that causes him to once again yearning to have space to himself.

But even so, Atsumu and Osamu make him feel welcome with how easily their lifestyle entangles with each other these past few days. And the fact that they wanted him here elicits a warm feeling in him.

He looks beside him to see the twins on the bed who seems to be too small for the two of them, sleeping peacefully and wiping out the usual mischievous look on the twins’ face. It should be uncomfortable to be sleeping with someone so close like that but it must be different for siblings like them. A part of Kageyama feels jealous that the twins had always had each other in their life.

But he’s not alone anymore now.

He stretches before he left the bed for the bathroom. It’s still around an hour before the afternoon, plenty of time to be prepared.

He was never one to be concerned with his looks. His preferred type of clothing is the ones that make it easy to train afterwards like a jersey or hoodie.

But in front of this person, somehow, he has a strong desire to impress the man, even with a simple clothing change.

Looking at the message again, a light blush dusts his cheek as he put the phone in his pocket and head out, locking the door to his home.

 **> I’ll be waiting at the same café as before. See you there, Tobio-chan ** **♡**

* * *

The beautiful man really wasn’t just some illusion.

He looks as handsome as the first time they met.

Or at least, the first time Kageyama remember they met.

The man notices him and Kageyama’s heart leaps at the bright smile adorning Oikawa’s face. Kageyama bow slightly at the man and notices that Oikawa had already ordered for him; a milkshake and milk bread. He smiles as he took a seat in front of Oikawa.

“Um, thank you for ordering for me, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa’s smile is pleasant as he took a sip of his hot chocolate, “No problem. It’s the least I could do for someone cute who are willing to go on a date with me~”

Kageyama blushes and ducks his head, “You—you always say that…”

Oikawa grins amusedly, “Oh? Says what?”

“That—that I’m…” Kageyama clicks his tongue as he feels his blush deepen, “Cute and stuff…”

“Hm? Why not? I’m only saying the truth,”

Kageyama frown as slices the milk bread into a smaller piece, “I’m tall and my face is scary so there’s no way I’m cute… And Oikawa-san, you’re good looking so who wouldn’t want to go on a date with you?”

Oikawa was quiet and Kageyama lift is head to see Oikawa looking at him with a soft smile on his face, “You’re blunt as always… That’s what makes you so endearing, Tobio,”

If Kageyama wasn’t an athlete with a great grip, the fork on his hand would have dropped at the soft look and voice Oikawa is giving him. He wonders once again how he could have forgotten someone that could make his heart beats just as fast as when he’s playing volleyball.

“Oikawa-san…” Kageyama put the fork down and clasps his hand together, “Who are you to me? I tried to ask Kindaichi and Kunimi but they said they don’t know much about you…”

“Ah… they said that?”

Kageyama doesn’t know how to name the look on Oikawa’s face but he could see that his statement makes the man sad. Before he could say anything to comfort him, the man speaks.

* * *

“Tobio-chan, the truth is…”

Say it.

Say it you coward.

“Oikawa-san?”

Kageyama is looking at him expectantly and also worriedly and the guilt in his heart only welled up further at the genuine look on Kageyama’s face.

“I—the truth is that I am… To you I am—”

_“…Unless you decide to do the right thing and come clean to Tobio-kun, me and ‘Tsumu will do our best to keep him away from you,”_

“When—when we’re in middle school, I used to bully you a lot…”

“Huh?”

He couldn’t do it.

“Y—yeah. You were just a tiny, ignorant little first year that’s just so fun to bully, you know? You would just do anything I said and would just pout adorably at me in retaliation. Kindaichi and Kunimi know this too so that must be why they didn’t tell you much about me…”

Kageyama looks more amused than anything, “I see,”

He wants to punch himself.

“I—I’m sorry about that, Tobio. It’s only one year but…”

In that one year, he notices how Kageyama’s gaze is always stuck on his back.

“What kind of bullying did you do, Oikawa-san? Did you hit me?”

The feeling of the gentle strands of Kageyama’s hair on his hand, the soft skin of his face as the younger nuzzles on his hand, there’s no way he could harm this seemingly prickly boy with surprisingly soft demeanour.

“No! I could never hurt you like that!” Oikawa flinches upon realizing how loud he was being and his voice grew softer, “It’s more like you know, calling you names, stealing the last yoghurt on the vending machine… refusing to teach you how to serve…”

Kageyama visibly perks up at the last statement, “Oikawa-san, you play volleyball too?”

As quickly though, he deflates as he frowns, “Well, of course you do… You and Iwaizumi-san are… partners… right?”

“Yeah! That’s right! So, you can remember until there, right?”

Kageyama’s frown remains as he fiddles with his fork, “I still can’t… Even after you tell me all of this Oikawa-san, I still couldn’t remember anything about you. It feels like you… were not there,”

Of course he can’t.

Because he’s not helping with any of the important information.

“But that was during middle school, right? Just like with Kindaichi and Kunimi—it was a long time ago, Oikawa-san,”

Looking at the sincere look on Kageyama’s face makes it hard to breathe. It feels like he’s drowning with the only sound echoing is Kageyama’s voice.

“You took the time to meet me too so… I don’t think that you’re a bad person… Oikawa-san,”

He can’t break.

He can’t cry.

“Tobio-chan…”

This is why… even after two years he couldn’t forget; couldn’t let go of the boy who had stolen his heart years ago.

“You really are… such a cheeky brat…”

He loves him, even now.

* * *

“Well then, Tobio-chan. I’ll see you later?”

Kageyama nods and the man’s anxious face turns to pure joy. For the last 3 hours, talking with Oikawa feels so natural despite Kageyama being blank on some of the topics Oikawa talked about. But the enthusiastic way Oikawa talk as well as the animated expression on his face amuses Kageyama.

In a way, Oikawa reminded him of Atsumu a bit.

Maybe that’s why he feels so comfortable with Oikawa despite not remembering him.

“Um, Oikawa-san?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time, let me pay for the meal, okay? You’ve treated me two times now so I want to get even,”

Oikawa waves his hand dismissively, “Ah, that’s okay, Tobio-chan. I treat you because I wanted to,”

Kageyama shook his head, “I insist, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa laughs as he pats his head, “Such a good kouhai eh, Tobio-chan? Fine then, I’ll allow you to treat this Oikawa-san~”

Kageyama pouts as the hand continues to pat him, “You too, Oikawa-san? Why does everyone like patting my head so much?”

“Maybe because it reminded us of volleyball?”

“Atsumu-san said it’s because my hair is silky and because I’m the ba—youngest usually,”

Upon the mention of Atsumu’s name, Oikawa frown and seems to look annoyed, “Atsumu… that blonde from before, huh?”

Kageyama tilt his head slightly at the abrupt change in his attitude, “Yeah?”

“Who is he to you, Tobio?”

The way Oikawa talks make Kageyama feel slightly weird and yet he shrugs it off, “A friend of mine. I’m living with him currently,”

“Oh, I see…”

“Sorry if he seems like a—a rude… guy? People always have that impression on him the first time,”

Oikawa frowns, “Right…”

They stood in silence for w while before Kageyama hesitantly speaks up, “Oikawa-san…”

“Hm?”

Kageyama hold out his hand to Oikawa, “Can I hold your hand?”

“H—huh?”

When Oikawa is blushing, he looks cute rather than his usual beautiful and handsome look. Despite looking bewildered, eventually, even shyly Oikawa reaches out to hold Kageyama’s hand. As his hand touches Oikawa’s slightly larger ones, he could feel the calluses on his fingers as well as the slightly rough surface of it, no doubt from volleyball practice. He entangles their fingers together for a moment before he lets go of Oikawa’s hand.

“You really work hard huh, Oikawa-san,”

“Eh?”

Oikawa’s cheek still looks slightly pink and Kageyama chuckles a little at the sight, “Nothing. Thank you for today, Oikawa-san. I’ll see you later,”

“O—oh, yeah, see ya, Tobio-chan!”

Kageyama bow slightly as Oikawa waves him goodbye. Walking back home, Kageyama fiddles with his right hand as he remembers the warmth and the feel of Oikawa’s hand. Holding Oikawa’s hand like that feels so familiar and natural to him.

Oikawa is friendly and charming, no doubt the kind of person who would be the centre of a party, so contradicting from Kageyama.

There’s just one thing.

_“When—when we’re in middle school, I used to bully you a lot…”_

Just like Kindaichi and Kunimi.

Oikawa is hiding something from him.

* * *

“So, you’re telling me that you chickened out,”

Oikawa grumbles as he covers his face with the pillow, “I don’t want to hear that from someone with a rooster hairstyle,”

“Hey, attacking my hair is low!”

Oikawa stuck out his tongue as Kuroo retaliates with his middle finger, “Why am I the one who’s at the end of your pining ass anyway? Where’s Iwaizumi when you need him the most?”

“You’re my roommate so you are obligated to listen to my ‘pining ass’ since I listened to yours as well,”

“Okay, unlike you, I actually get a response from Tsukki—”

“And secondly, Iwa-chan will be going away soon so the last thing I want is to spam with my problem,”

Kuroo whistles as he moves to sit next to Oikawa, “You’re surprisingly mindful, huh? Why can’t you do that to me?”

Oikawa grimace as Kuroo tried to use his puppy dog eyes which reminded him more of the kaiju that Iwaizumi likes so much rather than a puppy, “With that look? Yeah… no,”

“You don’t complain much with Bokkun!”

Oikawa rolls his eyes, “Okay, listen. Boku-chan is great and all but do you really want to complain about your love life to someone in a stable relationship like him?”

“…Good point,”

They both sighs as they absentmindedly watch the quiz show, “Can you believe Boku-chan surpasses us in terms of our love life?”

“In his defence, he is an honest dude,”

“…Lucky him,”

The feeling of Kageyama’s warm hand still lingers on his skin as he remembered the younger man who is smiling at him freely, so different from before where Kageyama would smile despite the pain in his eyes.

“What’s up with you and that Miya guy anyway? You said that you’ll be fine as long as the little crow is happy?”

“Well, yeah, I did say that but—maybe… if it was his twin, Osamu then I wouldn’t have minded but… That guy is absolutely… infuriating!”

Kuroo grins as he pokes Oikawa with his elbow, “Are you sure it isn’t because this person is you 2.0?”

Oikawa growls, “Excuse you, I’ll have you know if I’m dying my hair, I wouldn’t choose such delinquent colour,”

“Pink?”

“Definitely. Blue looks good on me too, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, can’t deny that,”

Oikawa chuckles as his mind once again reeling to the moment he met Kageyama at the airport. The little Tobio who was never close to anyone now have friends that would do anything to protect him and Kageyama himself seems comfortable with how close Atsumu is to him.

“You know what? I don’t know either. Maybe it’s true that Atsumu reminded a bit of how Tobio and I were before and it… irritates me. I told myself that I wouldn’t mind if Tobio finds happiness with someone else but…”

Kuroo hums, “Or maybe… you just really couldn’t let him go even if you lied to yourself saying that you’re trying to be the bigger person and let him go,”

“Yeah…”

“And knowing that the kid forgot about the shit you do… this is like the perfect time to once again seduce the little innocent crow and treat him better this time,”

Oikawa clenches his fist.

“Yeah…”

Osamu said so as well.

What he’s doing right now is horrible; just as horrible as what he did to Kageyama before.

“How long will it last then? Do you think Kageyama really wouldn’t remember even after you guys are married with 5 kids? Even then he wouldn’t remember the time that you—”

“I don’t know!” he closes his eyes, not wanting to see how Kuroo is looking at him now, “I don’t know, okay? I know it’s wrong but… I can’t… bring myself to tell Tobio the truth. I don’t—I don’t want him to hate me…”

He feels Kuroo’s hand gently rubbing his shoulder, “…The more you dragged it out, the more he’s going to hate you,”

“I’m aware…” he took a deep breath as he covers his face with his hands, “That’s just… a risk I’m going to take,”

Kuroo sighs, resting his chin on his hand, his eyes not leaving Oikawa’s slumping form, “I don’t know much about the kid but Tsukki likes him… in his own way. Honestly, I can only see disaster up ahead. For both of you,”

“But even so… I want to try. This time, I’ll cherish Tobio with all my heart,”

The determined look on Oikawa’s face deters any other words from Kuroo. Kuroo sighs as he put his hands behind his head and lean back, changing his attention back to the television.

“Do whatever you want then just…”

_‘Be careful not to let any of those hearts breaks,’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I complained so much to my friend before when I was drawing Kuroo because of his fcking rooster hair  
> There's this thing call hairbrush, Kuroo
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV) and support me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/alverie)


	8. Through the Stomach

“So that’s when I noticed that Pedro is just like Kenma you know. And he knows a lot about Japan too,”

“Well with how unlimited your energy is, I have no doubt that that Pedro guy would relent eventually,”

“…That’s a compliment, right? Right?”

Kageyama smirks as Hinata glares at him through the screen, “Did you cut your bangs?”

“Don’t try to change the subject! And yes, I did. What? Did I just make Kageyama Tobio’s heart skips a beat?”

Kageyama scoffs, “In your dreams. It’s just I can see more of your annoying face now,”

“Sorry that you weren’t born with this handsome face,” Hinata smirks as try to flip his hair like the girls in the shampoo commercial. Kageyama makes a gagging sound as he moves the phone away from him.

“Eww, be glad that you are thousands of kilometres away from me dumbass or I would have barf on you now,”

“No need to get jealous now, Kageyama-kun~”

Kageyama rolls his eyes though he has a small smile on his face, “Glad to see that you’re the same dumbass even in Brazil,”

“It’s late though Kageyama. Isn’t this your bedtime or something?”

“Yeah, about that…” Kageyama hesitates a little, stealing a glance at his volleyball journals on his desk, “Did I left any of my journals with you?”

“Huh? No. And you won’t even let me hold your journal for more than 30 minutes,”

“Right…” Kageyama turns the pages on the photo album as he looks at some of the missing photos in it, “I can’t find some of the volumes and even some of my photos are missing. I thought I left them with you…”

“A—ah… Maybe you left it back at your parent’s house? How clumsy, Kageyama-kun,”

Kageyama ignores Hinata’s awkward laugh as he continues looking at the empty spaces, “I never noticed before though how much things are missing… Why didn’t I notice them before?”

“When it comes to anything but volleyball you do become like that sometimes, right? You should try to asks Miwa-san or something,”

“Hinata… you know how much those journals mean to me,”

Kageyama looked at the screen to see Hinata averting his eyes. Closing the album, Kageyama gave his full attention to Hinata.

“Shouyou you… you’re not hiding anything from me… right?”

“O—of course not!” Hinata looks at him pleadingly through the screen, “You know me, Tobio. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you!”

Hinata’s eyes had always been so honest as when he challenges Ushijima as well as during the Nationals. Right now, he had no doubt that Hinata is speaking the truth.

But…

“Brazil makes you sound so cheesy,”

“Gah—you instigate this you asshole!”

Kageyama chuckles as Hinata huffs in frustration, “It’s late now so I’ll be going to bed. Don’t push yourself too hard during practice, dumbass,”

Hinata perks as a grin form on his face, “Is that worry I hear? Is Yamayama-kun actually worried about me? Aww, Tobi—”

“Bye,” without letting Hinata finishes his sentence, he ends the call and turned off his phone. Sighing to himself, he looked at the photo album for the hundredth time. The content never changes and yet a part of him wishes that he missing spaces would somehow be filled with any photos. It’s late and he was supposed to be asleep during this time.

Despite that, he’s not feeling sleepy. He feels jittery as his hand keeps trembling as he continuously turns the page of the photo album over and over again. Letting out a frustrated groan, he roughly slams the book shut and went out of the room. Passing by Osamu who’s on the couch looking at the television, he quickly informs the older man.

“I’m going out for a run a bit,”

“Tobio-kun? It’s late now. Wait—”

He ignores Osamu’s voice as he bolted out of the house. The night is quiet and the more he runs the more doubt clouded his mind as he remembers Kindaichi and Kunimi’s cryptic message when asked about Oikawa.

And the way Oikawa stutters out an answer that seems to be averting the true thing that he wanted to say.

Hinata too…

Hinata is hiding something too, isn’t he?

He was always so honest and yet this time…

Kageyama grit his teeth as he picks up his pace.

Is Tsukishima hiding something too? Yamaguchi… Yachi… Or even the rest of Karasuno?

What do people don’t want him to know?

Why—

“Woah there, Tobio-kun. Careful,”

Kageyama exhales the moment he feels the arms around his body. Without noticing, he’s been sprinting instead of jogging and now his body finally catches up as he panted a little. Looking up, he saw Atsumu smiling softly at him.

“A bit too late for a walk, don’t you think?”

“…Atsumu-san,”

Atsumu grins as he releases his hold on Kageyama, “The one and only. So, what are you doing out here, Tobio-kun? Don’t tell me you’re coming to pick me up? I told you that it’s fine~”

Kageyama smiles as Atsumu acts shy as he fondly punches the older man’s shoulder, “Don’t be ridiculous. I just needed some fresh air,”

“At almost 12 in the morning?”

“…Yes,”

His mind is still reeling from the way Hinata talked to him just now as well as the paranoia that’s gradually seeping into him. He wasn’t the type to usually get paranoid, he has no reason to and yet now…

“But now that you’re here, why don’t we stop by the konbini for a while?”

Kageyama look at Atsumu in surprise, “Now?”

The smile never left Atsumu’s face as he gently holds Kageyama’s wrist to walk together with him, “Yep,”

“Convenience food? Near midnight?”

“Yep,” Atsumu put more emphasize on the ‘p’ as they got closer to the nearest konbini. Kageyama smiles fondly as he rearranges Atsumu’s hand so that they’re holding each other’s hand. Astumu stiffens a little at the gesture but he didn’t turn his head.

“Osamu-san will be mad at us…”

Atsumu laughs as they enter the konbini turning his head and grinning at Kageyama with his finger on his lip, “Then this will be our little secret~”

Kageyama smiles as they stood in front of the dessert’s aisle. As athletes, they would usually avoid convenience store food and given that Osamu is willing to cook for them is all the more reason to avoid them. And yet there’s something charming about sneaking out to the konbini and eating something that’s supposedly forbidden. The strawberry sandwich, the mochi puff and the many flavours of milk, somehow just being here and eating cheap convenience food with Atsumu calms him down.

Although there seems to be an unspoken agreement between them to avoid the onigiri section in respect for Osamu.

“Tobio-kun let me have some of your banana milk,”

Kageyama nodded as he held the milk carton close to Atsumu as Atsumu drink from the straw. Up close, Kageyama could see how during high school Atsumu could get a whole fan club to himself. Now that he’s older and learnt to use a toner, Atsumu would no doubt be even more famous with the girls. Slowly, he reaches out his hand and swept Atsumu’s bangs away from his face, causing the man to stop his sipping and looking at Kageyama with wide eyes. Atsumu let out a squawk as move away from Tobio, face as red as the strawberry sandwich he was eating.

“Yo—you’re too close, Tobio-kun!”

Kageyama tilts his head, “You hug me all the time, Atsumu-san. That is not close?”

“Well, I’m the one who instigates that! When you did it yourself it—it caught me off guard…”

“U—uhm, sorry?”

“Urgh, you’re lucky you’re cute,”

“Cute…” He remembers Oikawa calling him that multiple time, being friendly and familiar with him, “You know, Ukai-san once told me to pay attention to people. On their condition both physically and mentally,”

“Eh? Where did this come from?”

Kageyama continues, “But then it started to get easier to understand people, you know? I mean, talking is still hard even if you understand but… once you understand people… sometimes don’t you wish to just remain ignorant?”

Atsumu is scrutinizing his face and carefully linked his pinkie together with Kageyama’s, “Yeah, that will be so much easier… but that’s amazing Tobio. You told me that before during middle school that you can’t see others. But now, you’re able to understand people, right? I don’t think you truly want to stop being aware,”

“I…” Atsumu’s hand radiates a different warmth than Oikawa. If Oikawa makes butterfly flew in his stomach, Atsumu makes him feel like he’s being warped in a warm blanket during a rainy day, “Yeah… I don’t want to go back to that person… that lonely king,”

Even if he’s no longer alone now, why does he suddenly feel so alone with all the dismissive words from his friends?

The banana milk in his hands was suddenly taken away by Atsumu who’s grinning at him, “But well, there’s nothing wrong with ignoring everyone else! What’s important is yourself first and foremost,”

Kageyama returns the grin as he swipes the half-eaten strawberry sandwich from Atsumu, “I should have expected that answer from you, Atsumu-san. Surprising how you still have fans with that personality of yours,”

“Oh? Charming and absolutely loveable?”

Kageyama groans as he finishes the sandwich in one bite, “An absolute narcissist,”

Atsumu stuck out his tongue as he throws the empty milk at the nearby bin, “Sucks to be you then to be roommate with that narcissist,”

“Right…” Kageyama smiles fondly as he follows Atsumu out of the konbini, “How unlucky,”

The lecture from Osamu that night was all worth it as that night he could finally sleep peacefully, forgetting his anxious and paranoia thoughts from before as he was lull to sleep by Atsumu’s even breathing in the same room.

* * *

When Osamu started teaching Kageyama how to cook, the cooking duty is now evenly distributed between the two of them with Atsumu helping them every once in a while. With that, Osamu decided to start working part-time since Kageyama could manage their lunch now and he needed to start observing a food workplace in close proximity.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to invite his brother—

No, screw that. He doesn’t want to invite his loud mouth brother to this restaurant.

Kageyama is welcomed but where there is Kageyama, there is Atsumu and as much as he loves the two of them, he didn’t want to risk losing his newly gained job by his chaotic twin and the oblivious chaotic and easily influenced Kageyama.

No thanks. He like his job here. The owner is kind and his co-workers are all very helpful. Today though, all of them seems strangely tense and serious, which unnerves him a bit enough to finally asks one of his co-workers, Kirishima.

“Is there something happening today? Things seem… tense,”

“Oh, Miya, you’re new here, huh. You haven’t met her then,”

Osamu furrows his eyebrow, “Her?”

Kirishima nodded solemnly, “The Queen,”

Everyone seems to have heard Kirishima as they all shudders which causes more confusion for Osamu, “And… Who is she?”

“You know how we have the eating competition?”

“Yes?” Which is a ridiculous competition if he’s being honest. Atsumu would say that Osamu is a big eater but even he understands how ridiculous Famires’s eating competition is, even if Osamu could finish it.

“Well, the Queen… she destroys each and every one of them,”

Osamu blinks, “Really? Even the ten-bowl challenge?”

Kirishima looks serious as he nodded, “Absolutely destroyed. Decimated. No mercy,”

“Huh…”

“She’s also known as the Angel of Destruction,”

“I see…”

Honestly, this might all just be an exaggeration.

But the ten-bowl challenge?

Now Osamu is curious about this ‘Queen’.

“She’s here!”

Owner immediately looks even tenser if it’s possible as he stood straight, “Men, be prepared. Kurosaki, prepare the 15 bowls—”

Fifteen??

“—Miya, get ready to bring them to the Queen,”

Osamu stood straight as he nodded, “Yes, sir!”

Compared to the normal bowl, the challenge bowl is double the size of the normal-sized bowl which only added to the ridiculousness of this challenge. If it wasn’t because of his muscle from volleyball, he wonders if he could even lift the bowl. As he moves nearer to the table crowded with people with whispers all around them, he finally got a look at the Queen; a petite girl with droopy eyes and a sleepy smile.

He knows he wasn’t supposed to judge by appearance but… this is surprising.

“Here’s your meal, miss,”

The girl nodded and her droopy eyes widen as her smile widen, “Oh! Miya-san!”

Osamu blinks as he looks at the girl, “Uh, do I know you?”

Oh god, is there another one of person Atsumu pisses of? He had enough with Oikawa.

She laughs quietly, “Oh, no. You wouldn’t know me. I’m Shirofuku Yukie, Fukurodani’s manager,”

Fukurodani… The one with Bokuto Koutarou.

“Ah, I see. Then you’ve seen me during the tournament, yeah?”

Yukie nodded, “Sure did! Though I’m not sure which of the twin are you…”

“I’m Osamu, wing spiker,”

Yukie clasps her hand together, “Oh, right, right, the grey one!”

Osamu chuckles, “Yes, the grey one,”

“Um, pardon us, Queen, but the challenge was about to begin,”

…When did the table is absolutely covered with a huge amount of beef bowls?

“Oh! You’re right. Give me a second yeah, Osamu-san~” Yukie casually pick up her chopsticks and just as she finishes thanking for the food, the challenges start. And…

_Holy shit._

* * *

When it comes to their little group of five friends, Kageyama loves them dearly, even if he wouldn’t tell them directly.

But he wonders what did he do in his past life to be placed in the same university as Tsukishima.

“If you hate it that much then stop sitting with me,”

“I don’t anyone else here! And when Yamaguchi isn’t here, you’re the same as me,”

According to Yamaguchi, they’re both the kind of friend who pretended they hate each other because they’re both emotionally constipated which they both resents. But when it comes to friends, Tsukishima is the kind where he would say anything with no filter, the one who tells the truth even if it hurts.

“You either have something to say or you’re constipated. Neither is better,”

“Fuck you,” Kageyama groans as he lowers his head, “But well…”

Surprisingly Tsukishima remains silent as Kageyama struggles to get the words out. What if just like Hinata, Kindaichi and Kunimi, Tsukishima deflects his question as well? He doesn’t think he could take anymore denial.

“Just spit it out. You already know how I am, King,”

The nickname is a subtle, gentle reassurance from Tsukishima, the one that said that no matter what, Tsukishima won’t filter anything. Kageyama took a deep breath.

“Who is Oikawa Tooru… to me?”

Tsukishima doesn’t look surprised, as if he’s expecting this question. Tsukishima sighs as rests his head on his hand and look at Kageyama straight in the eyes.

“To you, he’s…”

* * *

“I’m home…”

“Oh, Tobio-kun! Welcome back. How’s your first day?”

Kageyama’s face instantly lights up at the sight of Atsumu smiling and waving at him as he sat next to Atsumu on the couch, leaning his head on the older man’s shoulder, “Tiring. I forgot how much I hate sitting and listening to lectures,”

Atsumu laughs as he ruffles Kageyama’s hair, “That’s what you get for skipping education for two years. Well, I assure you that it’ll be worth it in the end,”

“Right…” He unconsciously leans into Atsumu’s touch as he closes his eyes, “I sure hope so,”

Their peaceful moment was interrupted as the door slammed open loudly, surprising them both as Osamu enter the room with an excited look on his face. Atsumu sighs, “Sheesh, ‘Samu. Didn’t mom told you to be careful with the door?”

Osamu ignores Atsumu as he sat in between Atsumu and Tobio and bring out his phone, “You guys need to see this,”

“Hah? What’s so important that you interrupted mine and Tobio—Whoa holy shit!”

Both Kageyama and Atsumu look at the video in amazement as the petite girl in the video seemingly inhales the huge beef bowl one by one with a huge crowd cheering all around them. Now that he thinks about it… the girl seems familiar…

“She is called the Queens, the Angel of Destruction and the Conqueror of Battles,”

“Fuck, those were all such cool nicknames,”

Kageyama blinks as his mind conjure a fussy image during the training camp and Nationals, “Is that… Fukurodani’s manager?”

Osamu nodded, “Yeah, you know her, Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama shook his head, “Not personally but I’ve seen her during training camp. Now that I think about it… Yachi-san mention something about an amazing girl with appetite?”

Osamu smiles excitedly, “That’s her alright! Shirofuku Yukie. You should’ve seen the owner’s face as she destroys one bowl after another, absolutely amazing! I kind of wishes she comes every day but then again, I don’t want Famires to be bankrupt,”

Atsumu laughs as the video ended with Yukie showing a peace sign to the camera, “You seems to be enjoying yourself there then, huh,”

“Yeah…”

Kageyama smiles as he looks at Atsumu’s fond smile at Osamu’s relaxed expression. He knows that the elder has been worried about Osamu ever since the day at the mall. It makes him happy and relaxes to be with them, forgetting the conversation he had with Tsukishima for a while, “I wonder if there are other people who record Shirofuku-san like this… She must be a regular to receive so many titles, right?”

Osamu looks excited, “Do you think there’s more on Youtube?”

Atsumu grins as he brought out his laptop, “Let’s find out,”

Atsumu and Osamu don’t know him from middle school. They don’t care about his history as they are more concern about the present, which really suits their school’s motto. With them, he doesn’t need to worry about his unknown past with Oikawa Tooru and the people related to it.

Here, he has no worries.

* * *

“Sandwiches?”

Kageyama nodded, “Yep,”

“Don’t forget the side dishes too, and fruits,”

“Got it,”

Kageyama smiles proudly as he finishes tying up the _furoshiki_ around the two bento boxes. Osamu too nodded proudly, “It seems that I have taught you well, my disciple,”

Kageyama nodded as he bows to Osamu, “I would go nowhere without you, master,”

“Are you guys like, done? Can I have my lunch now?”

Kageyama and Osamu groans as Kageyama hands the other single bento box to Atsumu while Osamu mutters out, ‘Mood killer,’

“Well excuse me for being in a hurry for morning class!” Atsumu frowns before he lights up upon seeing his packed lunch, “Did you choose this _furoshiki_ , Tobio-kun? It’s so cute!”

Kageyama blushes slightly as Atsumu continues to fawn over the dark blue cloth with tiny foxes pattern adorning it, “It reminded me of you a bit so…”

Atsumu smiles as he leans closer to Kageyama, “And this blue reminded me of your eyes, Tobio-kun,”

“Oh—erm…” Kageyama’s brain is short-circuiting at how close Atsumu is to him and thankfully he is saved by Osamu’s voice.

“Don’t you have morning class, ‘Tsumu?”

“Oh shit!” Atsumu immediately put the bento in his bag and pull out his keys, “See you guys later, bye!”

Osamu sighs while Kageyama fans himself to lessen the blush on his face, “Who knows how long it’ll take for that idiot to notice his surroundings. You need to get ready too, Tobio-kun,”

“Ah, yes!” He immediately took off his grey apron and folded it. Picking up the double bento, he carefully put it in his bag as Osamu looks at it.

“Is that for Kei-kun?”

Kageyama was stunned for a moment before he nodded, “Uh, yes,”

“I see…”

Kageyama hurriedly went out of the house, waving at Osamu, “Well, see you later, Osamu-san!”

“Yeah…” Osamu waves until the door close, “Take care, Tobio-kun…”

* * *

He wonders how many times he could describe Oikawa Tooru as beautiful? He supposes it is the first thing that people would notice regarding anyone, their outer appearance. Even as Oikawa is just sitting casually on the bench with a phone in his hand, he still looks very much beautiful. Before he could call out to the man, Oikawa notices him first and a wide smile appear on his face as he waves at Tobio, “Tobio-chan! Over here!”

Kageyama jogs a little as he took a seat next to Oikawa, “I’m sorry I’m late, Oikawa-san. I was preparing these,”

He brought out the bento boxes from his bags and Oikawa’s eyes lit up, “Ohh what’s this?”

Kageyama unwrapped the light blue cloth with a lotus pattern to reveal the two bento boxes, “Remember when I said it’s my turn to treat you next? I hope you like homemade food…”

Oikawa look at him in surprise before a smile appear on his face and he speaks softly, “You can cook now too, huh…”

Kageyama feels his heart beat faster as Oikawa’s smile seems to be brighter, “Can I open it,”

“Um, go ahead,”

_“To you, he’s…”_

“Uwahh this looks good! Thanks for the meal~”

_“The one you love. The one you would give your arms, legs and heart for,”_

_Kageyama was stunned as he looked at Tsukishima who looks at him seriously, “W—what?”_

_“You heard me. You were in a relationship with him, apparently,”_

_Kageyama’s mind is spinning as he clasps his hand together on top of the table, “Apparently? Me and… Oikawa-san… were lovers?”_

_“I wouldn’t call you that,”_

_He blinks, “H—huh?”_

_Tsukishima sighs as he leans back in his seat, “I heard that your memories are a jumble now but this is even worse than I imagine. You really have no recollection of Oikawa Tooru?”_

_“No… absolutely nothing…” he gritted his teeth before he took a deep breath and continue, “What do you mean… apparently?”_

_“Because we know next to nothing when it comes to your relationship with him. But even if you don’t say much, you look bad and worse as times go which says everything we need to know,”_

_His breathe hitches as his scar throbs, “What did he do to me…?”_

_Tsukishima shrugs, “My guess is he cheated on you based on little what you told us,”_

_…What?_

_That Oikawa who smiles at him so fondly and makes his heart beats like a high school girl?_

_“But it’s possible he did something else too… Who knows? The only ones who know are you and his grand majesty himself,”_

_“Oikawa Tooru…” He clenches his fist as the pain on his scar slowly subside._

_“So, King… what will you do now?”_

_“I…”_

He looked at Oikawa who is smiling happily as he finishes the sandwiches until nothing is left in the bento box. He smiles as he offers tissues to Oikawa who happily accepted it.

_“If what you say is true then I want to know what he did to me exactly… I want to remember what he did to me to cause everyone to hide so much from me…”_

_Kageyama glare as he uncurls his fist, “If what you say is true… then I’ll die before he could destroy my heart again,”_

_“No…” The look on Kageyama’s eyes reminded Tsukishima of the silent King who he fights alongside on the court for three years, “I’ll crush his heart before he could destroy mine,”_

_Tsukishima smirks, “Yeah, that’s the King I know who ruthlessly commands us on the court,”_

_“Give him hell, Kageyama,”_

“Thanks, Tobio-chan! It was absolutely delicious,”

Kageyama smiles as he packed the emptied bento boxes, “No problem, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa Tooru…

He’ll peel off his mask until his true colour reveals itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the title is secret, that includes everyone.  
> Except maybe Tsukki.  
> Also, have I ever told you how much I love konbini? I freaking love konbini.  
> Atsumu’s furoshiki pattern is the pattern of my favourite mug.
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV)


	9. Lost

How many times has he got lost now?

Kageyama can feel himself sweating as he imagines Ennoshita smiling silently as Kageyama is doing a dogeza while Tanaka is both lecturing and shouting at him.

He looks around but there doesn’t seem to be anything familiar around him, nothing to indicates where he is right now. He started to get nervous as his phone refuses to light up since he forgot to charge it yesterday.

“Oh? Ain’t that Tobio-kun?”

Instantly, he feels a wave of relief at the familiar voice and he can feel himself breaking into a smile as he turns to see the familiar twin clad in the familiar red jersey, “Miya-san! Hello!”

Atsumu grins as he walks closer to Kageyama, “Uwahh this is the first time I heard you being so excited outside of volleyball. Are you that happy to see me?”

Osamu groans although Kageyama nodded excitedly, “Yes I am,”

“O—oh,” Atsumu, who wasn’t expecting such earnest response is blushing slightly as cover his mouth, “W—well, it’s only natural, huh. This is me we’re talking about after all!”

“Then, do you think you could help me get over here, Miya-san?” Kageyama shows the paper with some written instructions to…

Osamu.

“Huh?”

Atsumu gawks as Kageyama leans closer to Osamu who is also looking confused, “Tobio-kun! I’m right here!”

“Huh?” Kageyama tilts his head and squints at Osamu, making it like he was glaring before his eyes widen and he blinks, “Oh. Grey is Osamu-san,”

They were quiet for a while before Osamu sputters and laugh loudly while Atsumu whines and wrap his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders, “How cruel, Tobio-kun! You knew me first and my hair is totally cooler. Call me ‘Atsumu’ already,”

Kageyama stiffens a bit at the contact before he shows the paper again to Atsumu, “Um, then, can you help me get here? Atsu… Miya-san?”

Atsumu pouts at Kageyama’s refusal to call him by his name. He sighs as he releases Kageyama and took the piece of paper, “Let me see… How the hell did you get so far from here, Tobio-kun? Why didn’t you follow your other teammates?”

Kageyama mumbles as he averted his eyes, “Hm? What was that? I couldn’t hear you,”

“There was… a cat,”

“…Huh?”

Kageyama lifts his head and Atsumu’s breathe hitches at the blush adorning Kageyama’s face, “There was… a cat, okay? I followed the cat and then… I remembered that there was this great ramen shop nearby so I tried to find it and before I knew it… well…”

“What…”

Kageyama scowls, “I know, it’s stupid and all…”

“That’s…” Atsumu stutters before he ruffles Kageyama’s hair enthusiastically, “That’s such a cute reason you freaking dork! You’re like a little kid who got distracted easily!”

“Uwah! M—Miya-san! I’m not a kid!”

While Atsumu continues cooing over a complaining Kageyama, Osamu pull out his phone and show it to the scowling Kageyama, “Tobio-kun, that ramen shop you’re talking about… is it this one?”

Kageyama's eyes sparkle as he looked at the screen and he nodded enthusiastically, “That’s the one! I heard that the somen there is amazing!”

Osamu nodded as well, sharing the same enthusiasm as Kageyama, “Yeah! That’s why we’re here now actually,”

“Really?”

Atsumu grins as he slings his arm over Kageyama’s shoulder, “That’s why we ditch the others today. We have to try the legendary somen before we go back to Hyogo. Why don’t you join us, Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama looks happy before he deflates. It’s amusing to see such an honest expression from someone who doesn’t change his facial expression much, “But… I need to go back to the others…”

Atsumu stuck out his tongue as he began walking with his arm still around Kageyama, “Bah, when else will you get this chance? Don’t tell me that little Tobio-kun is still a goody-two-shoes?”

The seems to be the nail to the coffin as he glares at Atsumu, “Fine. Let’s go,”

Osamu would say that Tobio is even more of a goody-two-shoes as he is easily swept by the others and yet he decided to smartly keep quiet as Atsumu continue invading Kageyama’s privacy.

He always thought that his brother turned strange when it comes to Kageyama Tobio. He tried too hard to look cool in front of the younger boy and would always smile or smirk when he’s talking to Kageyama or even when talking about Kageyama.

How strange it is that his too blunt brother is trying hard to appeal to the Genius King.

As a ramen outing turns into more hanging out between the three of them, and as ‘Miya-san’ turns into ‘Atsumu-san’, it became obvious to Osamu what Atsumu feels towards Kageyama.

* * *

Love isn’t a strange feeling for Atsumu.

He loves his family, his ma, pa, and even his annoying younger twin brother, Osamu.

He loves volleyball and the feeling of the ball at the tip of his finger.

He loves his team who tried their very best to satisfy his set.

He was in love with the kind captain who took care of him when he was sick.

And now, he fell in love with a boy who loves volleyball as much as he does.

Falling in love isn’t like in the movie or books, it’s soft, gentle and even as you noticed it, there isn’t any rush to say it verbally. Atsumu was happy with each and every moment they spent time together. He loves every little contact they have from the slight brush of hand to the innocent cuddling while watching the movies.

He never really thought he needs to tell Tobio that he loves him, he is happy enough with this simple happiness with Tobio and his brother.

But now he can feel the happiness slowly slipping away.

“You… You told him?”

Tsukishima hum in response and Atsumu can feel his throat drying, “Why… why did you tell him?”

“He asks,”

He looks at the empty bed in front of him, the crow plushie staring at him with its blue beaded eyes, “What is he… going to do now?”

“Digging up the truth. You know how he is, once he sets his eyes on something…”

“He won’t stop,”

Greed is something that’s shared between them. It’s what causes them to always want to one-up each other, the strong desire to achieve only the best.

It was the reason they were despised, and the reason they connected.

“Miya-san… I’m not like Hinata who wants to protect Kageyama from the truth. I’m the one who would tell everything no matter how painful it is,”

“Yeah… we all know that,”

“In court, you never hesitate to give all you got for Kageyama. I’d know, your serves is really annoying,

“Why hesitate now?”

Why?

He guesses this is why a lot of people can hate Tsukishima easily. He would say the truth exactly where it hurts. And yet this is why Tsukishima is the best kind of friend to wake you up from the long dream.

“Because I love Tobio,”

Tsukishima snickers at the end of the line, “And the sky is blue. See ya, Kuroo-san is being annoying again,”

Without waiting for his goodbye, Tsukishima ended the call. Atsumu smirks as he pocketed his phone, “What an asshole,”

He never thought that his love should be rushed.

But now he can hear a clock ticking from somewhere.

“I want to see Tobio…”

He sighs as he picks up his bag to go to the next class, though his mind is still reeling on a certain blue-eyed boy.

* * *

“Don’t you have class today, Tobio-chan?”

“Only in the morning,” Kageyama couldn’t control the smile on his face as he looked at the bouquet of flowers, “They’re pretty… What flower is this?”

“Orchids,” Oikawa smiles as he ate another piece of tamagoyaki, “I always thought that the colour matches your eyes,”

“I see…” Kageyama breathes in the flowers as he scrutinizes Oikawa’s happy look as he is eating. Is this really the man Tsukishima said he is?

“Oikawa-san… do you have any pictures of us together?”

“Huh? Why?”

Oikawa looks confused and slightly nervous which only increases Kageyama’s doubt, “Some of my middle school pictures… I couldn’t find them. I feel like you weren’t really there even if you said you were,”

Say the truth.

“Oikawa-san, you knew the me from middle school, and I want to know you, too,”

Or lie to me.

Oikawa started to fiddle with the food using his chopsticks as he smiles at Kageyama, “Are you sure? We all know that we don’t really have the best choice in appearance during middle school,”

“Yes,” his blue eyes never leaving Oikawa’s brown ones, “I’m sure,”

“I see…” Oikawa’s smile suddenly turns genuine as he finishes the bento and holds out his hand, “Then… will you come with me?”

“Huh?”

What is it about Oikawa… that makes him accepted that hand so easily?

And yet he feels so afraid at the same time?

* * *

“Come on in,”

Kageyama hesitates as he stood in front of the door. Oikawa notice his hesitance as he smiles kindly at him, “Don’t worry, my roommates are thankfully not here right now so you don’t have to encounter their annoyingness,”

“Right…”

The place reminded him of his own home, clashes of different things that signify the multiple occupants. Back at his home, the most common things to be found are Osamu’s cookbook and Atsumu’s multiple jackets. Here, he could see a gaming console as well multiple volleyball magazine that he’s tempted to look at but instead he proceeds to follow Oikawa to his room.

“Here it is!”

Kageyama awkwardly stood at the door before Oikawa laugh and pat at the spot next to him on the bed. Kageyama hesitantly sits as Oikawa began opening a photo album.

“Oh…”

It’s him and Oikawa.

Alongside the others, Iwaizumi, Kindaichi and Kunimi.

“You’re real…”

Oikawa pouted as he flips to another page, “Of course I’m real! What do you think I am, a phantom?”

‘Might as well…’ Kageyama kept quiet as Oikawa pointed to another picture, a photo of Oikawa holding a plaque with the carving ‘Best Setter Award’ which excites Kageyama.

“Oh! That’s amazing, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa smiles proudly, “Aren’t I just amazing? It’s easy to see why you’re so entranced by me during middle school, Tobio-chan,”

Kageyama frowns as he felt a flash of pain on his scar, “Is that so…”

Oikawa doesn’t seem to notice as he pointed to another photo, this time of Kageyama, Kindaichi and Kunimi, “Look at this one! You’re so tiny and cute, Tobio-chan,”

Kageyama smiles slightly at the photo, “Yeah… I was always pretty annoyed at how tall the others are… Even if I’m already taller than the average middle schooler,”

“That’s when you become so obsessed with all those milk and yoghurts, huh?”

“Yeah…” Oikawa pointed to more photos before Kageyama interjects, “What happens after middle school, Oikawa-san?”

“Huh?”

Kageyama traces the graduation picture of the third-years volleyball club, “You said that you used to… bully me before. You still bully me even during high school?”

Oikawa scratches his face nervously, “Not really, we went to a different school so we don’t see each other much,”

They were together for only one year.

Then why…

“Why are you so insistent on getting to know me then?”

Oikawa looks at him earnestly, “Because I—"

Say it.

_Please._

“Because I—I like you, Tobio,”

Kageyama’s eyes widen as Oikawa’s face turned red and he averted his eyes, “And well—you move to another country so I never got to know you better,”

Tell me who you really are to me.

“It’s sad that you have forgotten about me…”

Tell me that Tsukishima is right about you.

“But I still want to get to know you better!”

Tell me why people pretend you never existed in my life.

“Ouch!”

Kageyama closes his eyes as his head began to throb. Kageyama can feel another pair of hand covering his hands and though he was tempted to slap the hand away, the pain in his head is greater.

“Are you okay, Tobio?”

Kageyama opens his eyes to see Oikawa looking at him worriedly. He nodded as he subtly pushes Oikawa’s hands away, “It’s fine… My scar became painful sometimes…”

Oikawa frowns as he pushes Kageyama bangs away, tracing the scar, “That doesn’t seem very good… Did you go to the doctor?”

“Yeah…”

He remembers the doctor’s words on how everything is fine but there might be some psychological factor behind the pain.

“I’ll be fine… But could I get a glass of water, please?”

Oikawa smiles as he stood up, “Of course,”

Kageyama exhales as soon as Oikawa left the room and cover his face with his hand.

Tsukishima wouldn’t lie, in fact, that guy hates liars the most.

Then he must have really despised Oikawa.

But what if Oikawa is being genuine.

But then why is he being so hesitant when he talks about the past?

No, no, he’s willingly showing his middle school album now, right?

But then why are there so many things that don’t add up?

“Tobio-chan…?”

He flinches and slaps the hand touching his to see Oikawa looking at him with worry and…hurt?

“S—Sorry…”

Oikawa shook his hand as he hands him the glass of water in his hand, “No, no, I shouldn’t just touch you out of nowhere like that. You were clearly panicking there. I call you several times too,”

“I see…” He notices his trembling hands and holds the cup tighter, “Um, thanks, for the water…”

Oikawa smiles, “It’s no problem at all. Compared to the foods you make for me, this is nothing,”

“That’s also nothing…”

“Are you kidding? It’s so good! When it comes to me, I accidentally burned the kitchen from cooking rice one time. My roommate laughs so hard but then he got super angry with me,”

Kageyama couldn’t help the smile on his face, “How did you do that? And you should have tasted my roommate’s cooking. It’s way better. He’s my master after all,”

“Is that so?” Oikawa laughs as he sat next to Kageyama. He notices that Oikawa is sitting slightly away from him, giving him space, “I would still prefer your food no matter what though,”

“O—oh…”

Nothing about his feelings make sense when it comes to Oikawa Tooru. It was much simpler when he’s with Hinata watching recorded games late at night, arguing over food and video calling Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi. It was much more comfortable when he’s with Kindaichi and Kunimi trying to rekindle their lost friendship.

It was easier back at home with Atsumu and Osamu.

“You can keep that for now,”

“Huh?”

Oikawa pointed at the album next to Kageyama, “If it helps you then… I don’t mind lending you that,”

“Really? But this is… your memories,”

“It’s yours too,” Oikawa has a melancholic smile on his face, “And I’m not worried. You always take care of things so meticulously,”

“Then, thank you…” He picks up the photo album and hugs it close to his chest.

Tsukishima wouldn’t lie.

But there’s a difference between lying and keeping silent.

And he doesn’t know which one Oikawa is doing to him.

* * *

“Thank you for today, Oikawa-san,”

“No problem. I had fun every time I’m with you,”

Before Tsukishima dropped the bombshell, he would have easily blushed at Oikawa’s words. But now…

Kageyama nodded at Oikawa, “See you later then, Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa’s gentle voice stopped him from moving further, “Tobio,”

Kageyama turns to see Oikawa smiling sadly at him, “Yes?”

Oikawa took a deep breath before speaking, “I wasn’t the best to you… That’s why… I want to make it right. I don’t want you to remember that me from before,”

“Oh…”

You’re still so quiet about the little gaps, there’s still so much he’s still in the dark, things that not even the others know.

“Oikawa-san…”

_“…he cheated on you based on little what you told us,”_

“Then are you free Saturday?”

Oikawa’s eyes light up as he nodded excitedly, “Of course!”

“Then… there’s this aquarium I want to check out. Will you… come with me?”

“Of course,” almost shyly, Oikawa reaches out to grasps Kageyama’s hand.

He flinches out in response.

“Ah! Sorry, I should have asks you first…”

“No, it’s…” He clasps his hands behind his back as he averted his eyes, “I just don’t really do well with physical contact… Sorry,”

“I—I see…” Oikawa look away sadly before he covers it with a smile, “Well, Saturday then?”

“Yes… Saturday,” Kageyama tried to smile but it feels like he’s back in high school where smiling is such a foreign thing for him. Oikawa waves at him though Kageyama’s hand remain behind his back. As he walked home, his scar throbs every once in a while, and he gritted his teeth as the headache grew stronger.

_“We can’t really do that. We’re outside, remember?”_

_He left the hand hanging._

Why must he get into an accident?

Why… out of any memory…

_“Tooru…”_

It hurts so bad…!

_“Here’s the key to our home,”_

His hand trembles as he turns the knob. Is there something there? He should… he should open it.

_"Tobio wait—!"_

His head hurt—!

“Tobio!”

Tobio blinks.

It’s a different voice.

“Tobio! Stay with me! Do you—do you need to lay down?”

It’s safe here.

This is home.

He smiles as his vision started to dim.

“Atsumu-san…”

* * *

He doesn’t like being afraid.

When he saw his little brother fall down and crying, he’s scared for Osamu.

Seeing Kageyama staggering as he enters the house and collapsing… it scares him to death.

His face looks relax now that he’s asleep on his bed though Atsumu couldn’t forget the pain on Kageyama’s face as he held up his head, and the pure relief on his face as he looked at Atsumu before he passes out. He careful link his pinkie together with Kageyama as he lay his head on the bed, looking at Kageyama.

“Tobio…”

It wasn’t the time to tell Kageyama about his feelings, the younger didn’t need those burdens.

What he needs… is the truth.

“Wake up… I want to see your eyes… I want to talk to you…”

“You can talk to me now,”

Atsumu snaps his head up to be greeted with Kageyama’s half-lidded eyes, “Morning,”

Atsumu laughs as he links their hand together, “What morning are you talking about…? You jerk…”

Kageyama stays silent before he sandwiches Astumu’s hand between his hands, “…I’m sorry,”

“You should be,” his forehead met Kageyama’s hand and he feels calm by the warmth, “Passing out like that… I hate it, Tobio. I’m supposed to be this cool, level-headed guy, you know? I don’t want… to be scared anymore…”

“I’m sorry…” Kageyama brought Atsumu’s hand closer to his face, “Your hand is warm,”

Atsumu smiles, “Yours too,”

“Also, you’re never cool, Atsumu-san. I thought that you were irritating before,”

“Hey!”

Kageyama laughs and Atsumu was tempted to kiss that beautiful face. With a soft smile, Atsumu releases his hand from Kageyama grasps.

“Tobio… I need to tell you something,”

Because Atsumu’s love is too much, the line between selfish and selfless blurred at times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love fits Atsumu so much.
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV)


	10. Food for Thought

“Tobiooo,” Oikawa looks around with the drink in his hand. “Where are you?” he sighs and grumbles. Kageyama is like a little kid who would go missing when you took your eyes off of him for a second. From the distance, he could finally see Kageyama standing still looking at something.

Oikawa walks closer to Kageyama who’s scowling but he knows that it’s just his expression during concentration, “There you are, Tobio-chan. I told you to not just disappear on me just like that,”

Kageyama blinks as he turns his head to Oikawa. He nods a little, “Sorry,”

Oikawa groans, and looks at the thing that has catch Kageyama’s eyes, “Is that… a fox plushie?”

“Yeah…” Kageyama picks the plushie and look at it a little longer, “Please wait here for a moment. I’m buying this,”

“Eh?” But Kageyama has already left with the plushie in his hands, eyes sparkling.

Huh, he didn’t know Kageyama like those kinds of thing.

He smiles, shaking his head as Kageyama pays for the plushie with his eyes still sparkling and yet unseen by the others,

_‘What a kid…’_

He goes closer to Kageyama, staring at him as he holds the fox plushie with a wobbly smile, “So you like that kind of stuff huh, Tobio-chan?”

Oikawa silently coos as Kageyama’s face turns red, “N—No I just—I like this one,”

Oikawa hums in acknowledgement as he smiles, “No problem with liking that. Though we should go now if we don’t want to miss the movie,”

“Ah, yes!” Kageyama followed behind Oikawa before he shyly tugged on his shirt, “Um, Oikawa-san…”

“Hm?”

He can feel his face flushing as he looks at Oikawa in the eyes, “Can I—hold your hand?”

Oikawa smiles softly as he removes Kageyama’s hand from his shirt. Kageyama can feel his heart drop at the next sentence.

“We can’t really do that. We’re outside, remember?”

“Oh… right…”

He left the hand hanging.

Kageyama stares at Oikawa’s hand in yearning as he hugs the fox plushie close to him.

A few days later, in Hyogo, Atsumu blushes as he held the fox plushie while Osamu continues to snickers behind him.

At the same time, Kageyama smiles at the blue bunny plushie he recently receives, his face flushing in happiness.

* * *

“While unhealthy food might be good at first, in the end, people would always look for the most balanced meal for a healthy lifestyle. So, a balanced meal might work better for a long-time business, Osamu-kun,”

“I see,” Osamu nods as he takes notes, while Yukie finishes her third bowl of ramen.

Apparently not only did the older girl expertise in eating food, but she’s also surprisingly very knowledgeable when it comes to food, which might be from her time as sports team’s manager and currently studying nutrition.

Yukie smiles as she claps her hand together once the ramen is finished, “Now that I gave you some pointers, will you help me timed my shaved ice record? I want to beat my 10 seconds record,”

Osamu takes a few seconds to digest Yukie’s words before he blinks blankly at her.

“Your how many seconds record now?”

Yukie only giggles in response as she orders strawberry shaved ice from Kirishima, who looks terrified as he looks at the emptied bowl. “You never told me how you’ve switched from volleyball to food, Osamu-kun. I thought that you’d continue volleyball with your brother,” Yukie’s eyes are sombre.

“Ah, yeah, that might be the easiest option,” Osamu smiles as he takes a bite from the karaage, “But compared to ‘Tsumu, I ain’t as passionate as him or Tobio-kun. I don’t know how long I’d have been happy if I had chosen that path,”

Yukie nods. “I get you! Osamu-kun!” She suddenly slaps her hands on the table, surprising Osamu and the people near them and Osamu could even hear one of the guys sitting behind Yukie choking after being surprised by the loud noise.

Yukie continues to smiles enthusiastically as if she didn’t just nearly cause someone to choke on their food. “People got so weird when I said I want to be a nutritionist but I just love it, you know? Helping people with the thing I love the most,”

Osamu’s face grows fond as he looks at Yukie’s excited eyes and mirrors her smile, “I like when people eat my food. But sometimes I wonder if I could do more for them…”

Osamu clenches his fist as he remembers Kageyama’s expression when he lies about the bento box. Atsumu and Kageyama; he has no doubts about their feelings for each other before. But with the complication of Kageyama’s past, he wonders what will happen to them. As for now, what can he do for them?

_Nothing._

“I think what you’re doing right now is already helping, you know?” Yukie reaches out to pat his shoulders in a comforting manner. “Foods are very essential after all, especially ones made with love,”

“Ah,” Osamu shakes his head but his eyes are smiling and his cheeks reddened slightly, “All I do, is cook for them. Even then, Tobio-kun is learning exceptionally fast already. So eventually…”

There’s no need for him to come in between them. There’s no longer a need for ‘the three of them’.

“Ouch!”

Osamu rubs his red forehead as he looks at Yukie who’s pouting at him with her fingers in a flicking motion, “Where did all this negativity come from?” Her usual droopy gaze turns intimidating, “After all the passionate talk about your dream to open your own restaurant, aren’t you looking down on food right now?”

“Ah…”

_Looking down on food, huh?_

He understands what Yukie is saying.

“Just like in volleyball, no one is useless,” Osamu smiles as rub his forehead one last time, “That’s what you’re saying, right, Yukie-san?”

Yukie grins as she puts her thumbs up, “Yep! It seems that even after retirement you’re still a volleyball junkie huh, Osamu-kun?”

He chuckles as he eats a piece of karaage, “I mean, I guess. Even if not as much as ‘Tsumu, I still love it, after all,”

“Which reminds me, give me one of your karaage, please?”

Osamu stares at Yukie who is looking at him with big puppy dog eyes. He chuckles and pushes the plate near Yukie, “Sure, sure. Anything for Shirofuku-sama,”

“Ohh my title got upgraded,” with much subtleness, Yukie skilfully takes two karaages from Osamu’s plate that he instantly notices and stops the chopstick using his own.

“Hey! You said only one!”

“Eh, it’s fine, right? I’m Shirofuku-sama after all~”

Osamu pouts as he tries to snatch the karaage from the surprisingly strong grip of Yukie. This girl continues to surprise him with how she is able to keep up with the former volleyball athlete.

“Your shaved ice is coming, Yukie-san. You don’t need to burden yourself with two pieces of karaage,”

Yukie’s face turns serious as her hand remains unbudging, “Who do you think I am, Osamu-kun? Two karaage is nothing but a sip of pocari sweat,”

Osamu clicks his tongue knowing that the excuse he has given is too weak for someone like Shirofuku Yukie. As their hand continue to remain immobile, his grip falters at the familiar voice.

“Osamu-chan?”

_Oh, hell nah._

Taking advantage of his lack of attention, Yukie quickly stuffed the two karaage into her mouth as she focuses on the man who called out to Osamu.

“Ah, Oikawa Tooru of Aoba Johsai,” she says munching.

Osamu takes a deep breath before he turns to glare at Oikawa who’s looking at him in…

Relief?

“It is you!” Oikawa points and him with such enthusiasm that it elicits a laugh from Yukie, “I gave you my number but I never got yours. I’ve been hoping to meet you again,”

Osamu turns away from him and plays with the straw in his drink, “Can’t say the same for me,”

The previous enthusiasm in his voice disappears as his voice grew small, “Yeah… I know…”

Yukie’s amused gasp attracts his attention, and he sees Oikawa bowing at him with a perfect ninety-degree posture.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “I was too stunned to say this before but I’m really sorry… I wasn’t using you, believe me! And it was wrong of me to badmouth your brother because of my—my jealousy,”

Oikawa lifts his head to look at Osamu with a serious gaze, “But I don’t… I don’t want to give up on Tobio. After all this time… towards Tobio, I still—”

“Does that mean you still haven’t told him, am I right?” Osamu asks in a cold voice.

Oikawa shudders at Osamu’s steel gaze but he doesn’t back down, he holds the eye contact, “I—I haven’t. I don’t want Tobio… to remember that version of me,”

Osamu crosses his arm, unamused, “It doesn’t matter what you want. The one who has any say on this matter is Tobio himself,”

“I know but—”

“Oikawa-san,”

Oikawa turn to look at Yukie who has scooted herself to give space to her right, “Why don’t you have a seat? It’s better to talk to someone when you’re on eye-level with everyone,” Yukie’s smile grows softer as she looks at Osamu, “You too, Osamu-kun. It’s not good for your health to repress your feelings. Good health doesn’t come from only food,”

Osamu is quiet before he sighs and loosens his arms, putting them on the table, “Right…”

Oikawa smiles gratefully as he takes a seat next to Yukie, “Thank you, um…”

Yukie nods as Kirishima arrives with her order of shaved ice, “Shirofuku Yukie, nice to meet you,”

Oikawa nodded as he turns to Osamu, “So um—”

“Hold on, Oikawa-san,”

“Eh?”

Yukie has a serious look on her face as she looks at Osamu, “Put a pause on your drama for a while before the ice melts. Osamu-kun, if you’d please?”

Osamu nods with a similarly serious look as he takes out his phone and opens up the stopwatch application, “Whenever you’re ready,” the corner of his lips turns up a little at the next word, “Shirofuku-sama,”

In less than ten seconds, Oikawa’s confused face turns into horrified, amazed and awe as the people around them cheers.

Osamu couldn’t help the proud smile on his face as he claps along with the others.

* * *

“Tobio… I need to tell you something,” Atsumu begins with a serious look on his face.

After Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu is one of the most honest people he knows. He doesn’t filter his words, even if it means he will be hated. He’s the kind of person who did things his own way, confidence oozing from the support of the people around him.

The sad look on Atsumu’s face right now breaks his heart.

“The day you came back… Remember that guy with the brown hair and an irritatingly pretty face?” Atsumu murmurs.

Kageyama nods, of course he remembers, “Yes…”

And how could he not know Oikawa Tooru?

Atsumu’s smile never drops as he looks at Kageyama with a soft look, “That guy… He was your former lover, Oikawa Tooru,”

Kageyama can feel as if time stops.

“How—”

His breathing quickens as he looks at Atsumu’s brown eyes, honest and confident.

“How did… you know?” Kageyama’s eyes widen.

Atsumu shouldn’t know.

Atsumu isn’t Kindaichi and Kunimi who connects him to the young middle schooler Oikawa Tooru. He isn’t like Tsukishima and Hinata who connects him to his personal life that he doesn’t even know of.

His hand trembles as he reaches out to Atsumu’s face, “You’re not—You’re the only one—”

Atsumu and Osamu are a breath of fresh air from these suffocating secrets.

Atsumu’s eyes narrow in pain, “Tobio…”

He can’t breathe, “How long—why—” his throat feels dry.

Atsumu looks worried as he lays his hand on Kageyama’s, “I asked Yuutarou-kun, as well as Shouyou-kun, and Kei-kun a few days after you came back,” he looks away almost guiltily, “I don’t know, If I should tell you or not,”

“You should!” his frustration spills out as he sits up and holds Atsumu’s hand, “That’s my memory, that’s my right! I deserve to know! But all of you—”

His voice grew hoarse as the tears spill, “Why won’t any of you say anything? Why do all of you leave me behind?”

“Tobio-kun,” with his free hand, Atsumu gently wipe away the tears on his face, “I’m sorry, I know that either choice will hurt you anyway but, in the end, I just hate keeping secrets from you,”

Kageyama closes his eyes as he lets the hand gently cupped his face, “You and Osamu-san, but especially you. You’re the last person that I want to be involved in this,”

Atsumu was his safe space.

A space separated from everyone else.

Atsumu’s whispers so softly Kageyama almost didn’t catch it, “I’m sorry,”

Kageyama takes a deep breath before he opens his eyes to see Atsumu staring at him with guilt in his eyes, “Tell me, Atsumu-san. What am I supposed to do now?”

Kageyama’s hand trembles as words keep spilling from his mouth, “I want to hear the truth from Oikawa Tooru’s mouth. I want to know what exactly he did to me,” he takes a shaking breath.

“But what if everyone is wrong?” his words sound broken and Atsumu’s heart stops, “What if _I’m_ wrong? What if everything I did to Oikawa Tooru is all for nothing and he was never wrong in the first place?”

Atsumu who always have something to say couldn’t find his words for a moment, “What are you going to do to him then, Tobio-kun?”

Kageyama closes his eyes, “I just want him to stop sneaking around and tell me the things Tsukishima told me! Tell me why I stayed with him even when he cheated on me! Tell me why… he won’t show me to the world…”

There’s a reason why Tsukishima doesn’t know exactly what has happened between him and Oikawa.

There’s a reason why Oikawa won’t hold his hand in public.

Kageyama chuckles emptily as he rests his hand on his lap, “It’s because… he was ashamed of me, wasn’t he?”

“Then he’s a dumbass!” Atsumu snatches his hand and looks at Kageyama in the eyes, “There’s no way anyone would be ashamed of you, Tobio-kun. The amazing setter and player; only an idiot would be ashamed to be walking next to someone like that. In fact, that person should be lucky to even be able to hold hands with you!”

“Atsumu-san…” Kageyama smiles softly, “You’re holding my hands right now…”

“W—Well,” Even with the blush on his face, his grip doesn’t falter, “Then that just means that I’m lucky!”

Kageyama laughs as he savours the warmth from Atsumu’s hand before the laughs fade and he brings Atsumu’s hands close to his forehead, to his scar, “It hurts because I want to remember. It hurts because I’m sick of the secrets and isolation,”

Atsumu understands him best when it comes to this. Sure, he has Osamu but Atsumu knows more than anyone else what isolation really means. This is why his child-like smile and his confidence are all Kageyama needs to trust him.

A seed of doubt grows in him the moment Atsumu admitted the truth. If someone as honest as Atsumu is keeping secrets from him, who knows what else the others are hiding from him?

But out of everyone else, he’s the only one who voluntarily tells him the truth.

“What Yuutarou-kun, Shouyou-kun and Kei-kun said could be wrong, you know? And if Oikawa won’t tell you, let’s work together to get the truth directly from Oikawa Tooru himself,” Atsumu holds out his pinkie as he grins at Kageyama, “No matter what, I’m on your side, Tobio-kun. Let’s work together, okay?”

“Okay,” Kageyama links his pinkie with Atsumu and he smiles as they swing their linked hand together like children.

He wants to find out the truth.

So that after all of this is over, maybe he can finally tell Atsumu and destroy this tiny seedling of doubt.

* * *

“You’re amazing, Shirofuku-san. No!”

Oikawa clasps his hand together as he looks at Yukie in admiration, “Shirofuku-sama!”

“Oho~” Yukie sings, “Another addition to my admirers. I can only handle so much, you know?”

Osamu clears his throat to attract the two’s attention, “Well then, pardon me, Shirofuku-sama but I kind of need to talk to Oikawa now,”

“Oh, right, right,” Yukie stands up to get out of her seat and waves her hand at them, “Then I’ll be going now. Thanks for everything, Osamu-kun!”

Osamu smiles as he returns her wave, “Thank you as well, Yukie-san,”

“One last thing, Osamu-kun,” she grasps Osamu’s hand that was waving and smiling softly at him, “Without this hand of yours, I’m sure Tobio-kun and the other Miya-kun won’t be as happy as they are now. Stand tall, will you?”

“Ah…” Osamu feels his face flushing as he smiles and nods, “I’ll do my best, I promise,”

Yukie gives one last smile before she goes away, leaving Osamu with Oikawa in the restaurant, who loses his earlier admiration, and is now looking at Osamu, seemingly very nervous. After what feels like hours of silence between them that’s filled with chatters from the people around them, Oikawa opens his mouth.

“So,” Oikawa fiddles with his finger as he smiles at Osamu, “Shirofuku-san is amazing, huh?”

“Was that how you seduced Tobio-kun?” Osamu asks in a blasé voice, “Misdirect the main topic?”

Oikawa flinches as he bows his head, “Sorry,”

Osamu sighs as he rests his chin on his hand, elbowing on the table, “You might think that I’d be on my brother’s side but honestly, I’m on Tobio-kun’s side. That’s why I’m angry that you wouldn’t tell Tobio-kun the truth. If it had been me, I would have told him everything already,” Osamu sighs, “But it wasn’t my place to do so. I don’t know you; I don’t even know Tobio-kun had a boyfriend. This is something that he should hear from someone tied to his past and history, most especially from you,”

Oikawa remains silent, as he looks into Osamu’s grey eyes, “You’re right. You’re absolutely right,”

“What are you so afraid of?” Osamu’s glare has lessened now as he stares at Oikawa with curiosity, “Is it because you don’t want Tobio-kun to remember how you cheated on him? Is that part true at least?”

Oikawa deflates at his words, giving out a sad smile, “You’re right about that one. I hurt him so much because of my stupid actions. Tobio deserves to remember how shitty I was towards him,” he looks away with a little smile, “But I don’t want him to remember that pathetic person who was me. I don’t want him to remember that person who caused his suffering,”

Osamu grits his teeth, “Tobio-kun isn’t the type to sneer at someone’s past,”

Oikawa’s eyes widen as Osamu continues to glare at him.

“Are you looking down on Tobio-kun?” Osamu asks in an irritated voice.

Oikawa pales, “No,”

His eyes shine with tears as he covers his face, “I always know… what kind of person Tobio is. Stupidly patient, stupidly kind and so honest… He’s someone who is the exact opposite of me,”

Oikawa sobs his hand drops, revealing red-rimmed eyes and snotty nose, “I thought that I could be the bigger person, letting Tobio go to find someone better, someone who wouldn’t cheat on him. What a joke,” he wipes his tears away in frustration, “In the end, nothing changes. I still love him, and I still selfishly wants him,”

Osamu stays silent as he stares at Oikawa crying in front of him. He’s not a pretty crier and he doesn’t seem to be the type to be crying in front of people.

Osamu then says, “You know, I love Tobio-kun too,”

Oikawa grows rigid and blinks as the tears stop, leaving only the slight sobbing every once in a while. Osamu turns to glare at Oikawa with a stern face, “That’s why there’s no way I would give him to you.”

_Oh._

It’s not _that_ kind of love.

It’s similar to the kind of like a mother-in-law refusing to give up their child.

_Which sounds even worse._

“H—Huh?” Oikawa blinks, “Is this a marriage interview right now?”

Osamu glare darkens as his face moves closer to Oikawa, “As if you’re even qualified to be considered to be a marriage partner for Tobio-kun!” ‘Tsumu may be an idiot but let me tell you that he’s at least a thousand steps ahead from you,”

“That far!?” Oikawa exclaims.

Osamu scoffs, waving at him, “Well he never cheated on Tobio. For once,”

“Right…” Oikawa dryly chuckles as he slumps on his seat, “I’m surprised that you haven’t punched me yet, given how much you care about Tobio,”

“Trust me, I wanted to,” Osamu sighs as he cracks his knuckles, “But unlike with punching my own brother, punching others comes with so many complications and consequences which I’m too lazy to face with,”

Oikawa chuckles, “You’re surprisingly very level-headed huh,”

Osamu scoffs, but there’s a hint of amusement in it before his voice grows serious, “Oikawa… If you love him then why do you hurt him?”

Oikawa’s jaw clenches as Osamu continues, “If you insist on keeping this away from Tobio… the least you can do is tell me why,”

Oikawa seems to be deep in thought before he sighs and smiles as his hand wanders to the bracelet on his wrist, “It was spring,”

He fondly fiddles the black button attach to the bracelet and takes a deep breath,

“On my last day of high school, a cute, annoying junior confessed to me,”

That day was possibly one of the happiest days of Oikawa’s life.

So where had it all gone wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPER SPECIAL THANKS TO [MissKiraBlue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKiraBlue) , my beta🎉  
> She was so sweet and helps me a lot in my writing! Her writing is also super amazing so please please check them out! Especially her Every Tomorrows series.  
> Secrets is originally a one-shot so after chapter 1, the quality really drops but Vani really helps me to pick up my pace so I'm really grateful :')  
> Also I've been kinda ignoring my assignments for a while so I'm gonna focus more on that. I'm banning myself from writing for now but I'll be back (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
> See ya! <3
> 
> You can find me on [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/alverie.sama/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AlverieV)


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